How old are you in fashion years?

Do you dress your age?

What is your fashion age?

This is not a judgement about how you dress, just a myth-busting blog here. The idea of dressing your age is asinine. Magazines have shown us for years what to wear in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and beyond. I don’t dress my age because I don’t believe in that. An age does not come with a package of clothing appropriate for that decade or number. Yes, babies should not wear high heels, but children are not part of the point here.

How old are you in fashion years?  Where do you shop?  Where do you want to shop?  What do you want to get away with, but feel like you can’t pull it off?  Answer:  Just decide it.  Love yourself.  And own it, work it, live it.  You can change your style whenever you want…and your life to. Let’s first start with the clothes though.

I love Forever 21. I’m almost 38. I would never want to be 21 again. I don’t pretend I’m in my 20’s. What would that even mean? I know some people judge women when they dress sexy or too “young” as wrong or trying too hard. What if they are just trying to be themselves. I dress for me. It’s fun. I’ve been experimenting with style since I was a kid, minus a few years in my early twenties where I was pretending to look the part of a mom.

I lost myself in the idea of what a mom “should” look, do, and act like. That repressed life force, that hiding of my wildness and untapped creativity made me angry. Rage is something I know well and I’ve embraced my own shadow side which has been angry and acted a fool in many ways. I still love her…as in the dark side of me.  I am more Light, of course, but I own my shadow as well.  Maybe there are some people just full of Light, that lack the depths I’ve explored in the human experience. I’ve been clinically depressed, suffered terrible anxiety, and felt lonely in a crowd, wearing it like an old coat. I taught myself how to love myself enough to become me…and wear fishnets, short jean skirt, and gold high heels on a Wednesday in New Jersey, ownin’ it like I’m a hipster 25 year old in NYC.  Fashion is one of my vibe raisers. It makes me who I am. But I don’t base my opinion of others on what they wear. I realize there are clothes people and car people and cat people…and people that prioritize things different than me. I’m hot for fashion.  I’m thinking my fashion age is 25.  What’s yours?  Have you figured it out yet?  If you don’t like fashion, don’t sweat it.  Just be you and live for yourself first, sweet peach.

25 year old me dressing fashion age 38...at least.
25 year old me dressing fashion age 38…at least.

What a difference a decade and self-love make?
The 30’s me embraced my writing, found myself, and created my reinvention.

38 year old me dressing fashion age 25.
37 year old me dressing fashion age 25.

As I was driving home from getting my hair done, all lookin’ cute and fierce, Prince was playing on the radio, taking me back to my 80’s childhood. Then what came on next was Alanis Morrisette. I thought about driving around playing that tape after I graduated high school and had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I thought of how I love life so much more than my 18 year old self could imagine. 18 year old me would never have believed we would be pregnant and married the next year. Best things to ever happen to me though.  My hubby and oldest daughter have taught me so much.  The rainbow after the storm of my teens.  I should have saved the clothes though. They’re all coming back now.  90’s clothes and 70’s clothes, which is funny because 70’s clothes were cool in the 90’s too as I rocked some bell bottoms and tye-dyes.  I see my life through pictures and what I was wearing at what age.  I love being trendy, but also, just deciding on a look and going for it. Stay tuned to all the florals I have coming up in my vacation fashion next month. And sunglasses. I’m obsessed with them.  I did get some clothes my oldest daughter deemed “my age.”  I laughed.  Of course, I’ll trend them up with some sunnies and headbands.  Growing out the bangs is a pain.  Headbands help.  I got a silver one that reminds me of Alexis from Dynasty.  I still love the clothes and glam from that era.

So back to my outfit from today and my fashion age.  I realized I had to go to one of my kids’ schools and looked at my outfit.  My 25 year old outfit on a 37 year old.

“What is she wearing?”
“Did you see what she’s wearing?”
“A mother shouldn’t dress like that?”
“Where does she think we live?”

The old me, which ruled the roost until age 33, would have thought that people were thinking and saying these things and go into shame for wearing what I wanted.  I know people could still do that, but what my inner voice I said when I looked at my fishnets…”Oh well.”  I don’t care if people like how I dress.  If they judge me, that’s their judgement.  I played small for many years, afraid to be this chick I am now…loud and proud…wild and free…and owning it.  I love to help empower, inspire, and uplift others, even if only through what I post online.  There is lots of good stuff in my book, “Sexpot With Stretch Marks” if you want to read more from me.  If you want to find, discover, or reclaim your mojo like I did, contact me.  I work on lots of stuff with people, all of which go through a mind-body-spirit change.  I transform lives through my coaching.   It’s beautiful to be a part of.

Lesson here:
In your 20’s: Wear what you want, have fun, and love yourself.
In your 30’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself fully…forgive the 20’s you.
In your 40’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself completely…no for real this time.
In your 50’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself unabashedly and live like it’s no longer dress rehearsal.
In your 60’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself to the depth of core and do whatever the hell you want.
In your 70’s: Wear what you want, have fun, and love yourself…you don’t need anyone else’s advice.  You got this.

Instead of dressing your age, dress for your vibe.  It’s so freeing.  If you only live in sweatpants because you love comfort, rock those sweats with pride.  They do sell them with sequins on.  Just sayin’.  I own them.   Smooches!

Chicks let’s unite, and mind our own beeswax. Confessions from a wild mom.

Oh, the stories my kids will tell about me.
Oh, the stories my kids will tell about me.

I was talking with one of my girlfriends this week who is married and is not going to have kids. I applaud her. I love choices. I joked that I had enough for the both of us. She has an amazing business that is growing at a super speed. Being a mother is hardcore with five kids over here and add working, it’s a crazy thing people throw around that’s an illusion called “balance.” It will look different for everyone and changes by the day. Do I need a break sometimes? At least five times a week, the other two days, my hubby is off. True story.

I know of some mothers who chose to not want to be a full time mother anymore, which I wonder, without judgment, if they had any question before they had kids if they really wanted to be a mother? Make no mistake here though, children should be raised by those who will love them and if a mother is going to resent them and be cold towards them, it is not good for kids. They feel it.

I have felt drained by motherhood many times in my almost 18 years of it. I love them with all of my heart, but feel zero guilt about this. It’s real. I became a mom at age 20 and did an amazing job when I consider that as well. I learned to use that low and empty feeling as a barometer on my own mojo-life force-energy. I have to fill myself up and create my own happiness. That is not their job. Kids should not dictate our mood or vibration. I have to remind myself of this daily, but would not trade it for anything in the world. I always knew I wanted to be a mom….just didn’t know there would be so many.

I feel so blessed they chose me. I believe souls can do that. They have become my students and teachers, little secret gurus who have no idea when they hold up the mirror, I can see my shadow side and my light. Always a growth experience, this human gig. Ya know?

I write what I can always without dragging their stuff out into the world as it’s my mission to let both my best version of me out, fierce in fiery words, and grace in its holy sacred. There is always the balance between mother and woman, and yet, every woman is balancing something as we inherently come mentally equip for that. I don’t believe we have to sacrifice. We can have it all, just not everything from the buffet on one plate at the same time.

My career is important to me for my own fulfillment and I could never go back to being a stay-at-home mom exclusively. Without writing, coaching, and having a strong message to spread to the world, I wouldn’t be me.  It makes me who I am.  Being a mother is part of my core and the goddess self who expresses herself and heals others is her juxtaposition.  My kids see a woman who believes in her dreams and works for it. I have found my passions and there will be more I discover along the way. My kids will never have a “perfect” mom. But they’ll have a mom who’s alive not just in the physical sense, but that wild heart-soul deep kind. I live my truth and love to empower other women to do the same.

There is no need to keep score with other women or compete on how they live. Their business, parenting, balance, romantic life, and choices are about them. There is no us versus them. Women united equals freedom. Let them do them well and you do you well. We all win then. Focus on your garden and plant more good seeds, goddesses. Respecting others makes you even more beautiful.

Get Your Mind In Shape

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It’s great to tone up your thighs, but the real life changer is to tone up your thoughts. Focus higher. Solutions reside there.  Your mindset is a magnet.

What are you really saying to yourself today?  What are you thinking about?  What are you looking for?  What are you truly seeking?  I seek to see the beauty in every day, even in the unwanted or the annoyances, I can feel for more of an expansion of myself within as it happens.   Let yourself expand. It’s all part of the fun of being human.  The ultimate goal should always be self-acceptance. Beyond the fanciful feathers and fluff, the real down core you.

Why are you explaining yourself? Or what you want, why you want it, or why you deserve it?  Explaining is draining?  Do you give away your power all the time by playing the victim?  Can you drop the old stories?  What does being liked, validated, or accepted really get you…does it guarantee happiness?  Do you need people to like or agree with you?  I spent years trying to win over people and the world, in fact, but really all I had to do was win myself over. Then I won.  Self-acceptance was the prize.  Remember, your focus is a laser on life and your mindset is a magnet.

Who
What
Where
…is your FOCUS?

Feeling
Our
Core,
Understanding
Self

Your life is about your focus and mindset, regardless of how many marathons you train or how many cute outfits you buy.  How much does your happiness cost?  What about self-acceptance?  What about all the money you spend on diet plans, gym memberships or exercise programs, or physical stuff to make your body look better?  Is that making you FEEL better?  What you’re looking for is a feeling.  What if you’re really asking for a book on mindset, wellness retreat, meditation CD’s, online spiritual program, or a life coach?  Ask yourself…what do I need?  What you I want?  Clarity is golden.  There are no wrong answers, just choices.

Ask for signs.  You are always being guided by your soul with crumbs along your path if you’re open to them.  Your soul is also responding to your focus, taking it as a cue to what’s important to you and supporting you in that.  This is how the Law of Attraction works.  Your dominant feelings tell your soul what you want more of.  See how feeling good is a win-win.   Pay attention to where your attention is and you will see how much power you actually have.

I’m cheering you on in the self-acceptance and in the wanting to improve.  I will always be improving, because I’ll be learning about myself and life for as long as I live.  It makes us more alive.  I want to live a full lived life after all. Don’t you?

Love & Smoochie Blessings,
Jenny G. Perry
Mojo Expert-Life Catalyst

P.S.  I’ve seen a ton of Facebook ads lately and email galore that are just pure salesy.  Here’s my take…

Marketing is not one size fits all to me. I magnetize people to me through love. People want to work with me because I make them feel good and they trust me. You can catch some fish in your net by making them feel bad, like they need you to survive or thrive in any or all areas of their life. Those fish will always eventually swim away. Make people believe in themselves and possibilities and you don’t even need a net. They swim to you.

Who is thinking….I am so ready to do this!

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I only have two open spots coming up so act fast! xxoo

***I attract rockstars. Are you one of them?

Only contact me for coaching of you want to change your life and become the happiest with your body-mind-spirit that you’ve ever been.
(Q & A)

Q. Do you only coach women?
A. No. Ideal clients are those willing to be real and take action.

Q. Is it an investment of time and money?
A. Yes and that is where there epic change is created. I only choose a few clients to work with at any given time. Do you love yourself enough to go for it?

Q. What is a Mojo Coach and Life Catalyst? What can they help with?
A. Whether you never had mojo or feel you have lost it, I will help you discover or recover it. Whether your intentions are to lose weight, uplevel your business, attract the right partner, these will be side effects of shifting your whole vibration. It’s all-in-one coaching. There are the practical tips and tools to implement into every day life. We connect the spiritual foundation through meditations and energy clearings. This combined with law of attraction rewires your patterns and beliefs in order to have a positive mindset. This Mojo may include your sexuality or style as it does for some of my female clients. I intuitively know what to work on. Healing the past is always the first step. I can help anyone who decides they aren’t willing to be the victim anymore and are open to create the life they want.

Q. How often do you get coaching?
A. Once a week Skype session and 24/7 email and text message access so I can hold your hand through the process. I tailor make a plan for you in order to have long-lasting new you.

Q. Is it challenging? Is it fun?
A. Yes and yes. Isn’t life? All growth happens through releasing the old to embrace the new. I build you help and help you sort through it all. You’re in good hands and I welcome you with an open heart.

Q. How do I sign up? How long is it for?
A. 1 month, 3 month, or 6 month packages available depending on my availability.
Message me or email me at jenny@jennygperry.com to schedules consultation call to get you started.

Smooches to your truest you and most epic life, rockstars! xoxo, Jenny

Recipe for a Self-love Mask.

face maskWe had a snow day that yielded not really even a dusting on Tuesday. All that hype and no snow. They had predicted 12-18 and the schools cancelled classes and my the restaurant my hubby works as the Executive Chef closed for the day. With no plans to go anywhere, I figured…why not pamper myself?

Did I still have to feed children? Change diapers, fold laundry, and all that mom stuff? Of course, but I put some Bailey’s and Kaluha in my coffee. I cleared the energy with burning some Palo Alto. It clears negative energy and illness. Two of my kids have had the flu. Moms need to fill up their own love cups so they can mom the best. Yes, mom is a verb too.

My first attempt at the anti-aging, self-love mask was a dud. This one was perfect. I took a rosebud that had fallen off of the bunch. These lavender roses were $12.99 for 24. I wanted to see some flowers if we were going to have a blizzard. Prepping for a storm should always include flowers. One fell off when I got home so 23 was just fine with me. I took the petals and combined them with ingredients to pamper my face, hands, and feet. I rubbed the mask loving in and felt like I was in a fancy spa with all the yummy smells.

1 rosebud (lavender for spiritual connection)
1 tbsp. organic coconut oil
1 tbsp. honey
4-drops of frankincense oil
4 drops of lavender oil

Combine in food processor. Apply to skin and massage. You can keep it on as long as you would like. You can wipe it off and do not need to wash it. You can use a damp cloth. The oils are great for your skin, especially in the winter months. The coconut oil is a great moisturizer and the honey is as well, along with clarifying for the pores, antibacterial which is good for acne, and full of antioxidants which slows down the aging process of the face. Lavender oils soothes the skin and the aroma relaxes you naturally. It is a great stress reliever. Frankincense oil is a great tool for anti-aging and it’s been used ceremonial for thousands of years. It is one of the woo woo type things I love to weave the sacred into my every day. I have anointed my heart, throat, third eye and crown chakras with this. Rose colors corresponds as follows:

Red: Passion, getting stuff done, revving our energy up
Orange: Creativity, sensual nature, connecting to your goddess body
Yellow: Power, before a big business or life move, for standing up for yourself
Pink: Self-love, to increase your love vibration
Purple: Spiritual connection, royal color that connects us to the sacred as well
White: Purifying, Divine Love & Light, Health, clearing of energy

Play with life. Make mud mask or flower masks. Put a flower crown on and take a selfie. Don’t take everything so seriously. Lighten up and life has a way of doing so as well. Intention, belief, focus, and vibration=manifestations and your reality. Fill up your love cup today with whatever nurtures our soul. Post your face mask selfie or just a regular one with the hashtag #selfiebration and #jennygperry I’ll find it and cheer you on as well. Be silly. It’s so fun!

Blessings and beauty,
Jenny

That Bitch

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Today’s post on the inner-critic is part of an awesome blog tour headed up by my friend and colleague, Andrea Owen of Your Kick-Ass Life. Starting February 1st she’s hosting something amazing: The Kick-Ass Courage Project: 7 Day Challenge. She’s challenging women just like you to do two Very Important Things. 1) Start cultivating self kindness and self compassion (aka stop being such a bitch to yourself) and 2) Start practicing “being enough”. The Challenge is totally free and Andrea’s hope is that she can shift two very important aspects of your life in 7 days. Click here to sign up! 

Did you just hear what she said!

That bitch!

What happens when that mean girl, that bitch, is your own inner critic in your head. The one who tells you you’re not good enough or that no one really likes you.  Who is she, how the hell did she get in here, and how can we stop her?

First of all, it doesn’t matter how she got there.  She’s got some tapes she runs on a loop (who has cassette tapes…God I sound old!)  So she has a culmination of what others have said, ideas of what they think of us, and she has formed an identity within your psyche.  If you give her attention, she grabs the microphone and thinks she’s running the show.  If you tell her to sit down and shut up, you must override her voice with another.  Yes, meditation and being still is great…but if she’s been chirping in your ear for twenty years, you can’t just pull the plug on her and expect silence.

She’s not all bad sometimes.  She tries to protect you from getting hurt sometimes.  “They hurt us…well, they’re just an asshole.”  Or “We didn’t want that job anyway.”  She is an aspect of the personality in our ego, so she trades air space with our Victim Self (we’ll call her Victima) who feels sorry for us.  They chat away like this.  That Bitch:  You’re so stupid!  How could you forget that!”  Victima:   “We never do anything right.  We always let ourselves down.  Everyone always let’s us down…etc.”  You get the drift.  They make you reach for the chocolate.

Hearing your voices yet?  You would not be alone.  That bitch was my dominant mental voice for years.  Fear, doubt, and all the not-good-enoughness were coming out in That Bitch, Victima, and Mad At Everyone (AKA MAE) among others.  Mae really hated happy people.  Now, let me tell you I realize these are aspects of mental chatter and not me, but it’s all energy and they can feel real as the trees and bees.  I decided to read about spirituality, Law of Attraction, and all that jazz because I was tired of unhappiness.  I was tired of That Bitch limiting me.

How do you kill her or at least muzzle her.  Trick her.

Tell her nice thing about yourself.  That’s the new voice I was talking about.  I called mine Jennylicious.  Think of her as your superhero self.  Give her a bedazzled, pink sequined, leopard lined cape and a theme song. Mine is usually Destiny Child’s “Bootylicious.”   This sense of something outside of yourself with this badass, rockstar persona makes it more believable than just all of a sudden thinking you’re the cat’s meow.  In that higher self, best version of you, say first, “I love you, girl!  You really are somethin’!  You just keep trying.  You never give up.  I know you’re doing the best you can and that’s enough.  You are enough. You always were and you always will be.”

Start there.  Give her the mic and let her read you affirmations.  Let her journal.  Allow her room to fly.  You will be so glad you did. And right now, tell That Bitch this beautiful Ho’oponopono prayer:

I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You.  Use this mantra daily.

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