Sexpot With Stretch Marks

Sexpot Book Cover one

Hello cuties! Going with a thankful Thursday vibe here even though my two youngest sons are driving each other bonkers at the end of summer here. (I have five kiddos from 2 1/2 to 19.) I wanted to spread some positivity to all you mommies. If you lost your mojo, need a pick-me-up today or just like to read uplifting stuff, click below for a copy of my ebook, Sexpot With Stretch Marks~Fierce Musings Along the Journey to Self-Love with Sass.” Have a fabulous day!

http://jennygperry.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Book-PDF.pdf

Love, Jenny
xx

Why I’m a phony?

And you are too.
What?
Blasphemy for a life coach!

Do I really believe this?

No.  I think we are all human.  I think some of us try to focus on the positive.  And if you are promoting your business, lifestyle, coaching or positioning yourself as an expert…you should have ALL your shit together.

A.  This is a perfectionist trap.
B.  This would mean you would have to live in a hut in the middle of nowhere ALONE with all your needs taken care of.

You know…conditions would have to be PERFECT.  Hahahaha!  My life in in New Jersey.  I have five kids.  They are all spirited with complex personalities.  Obviously all kids are, but most of mine are fiery.  Wonder where they get it from.  😉

Even if you are just on social media for fun, you are not being 100% authentic.  I try to be heart authentic as possible, but I’m not posting pics of my junk drawers (yes, plural) or how my bathrooms need to be cleaned. Does this mean people can’t know the real me.  The real me is ALL of it, good, babd, and ugly but lots of times I can’t post stuff related to other people in my life and it’s their business anyway.  Does it hold me back as a writer and blogger…at times yes.  Does it hold me back as a life coach, to not post all the rawness?  No, but dealing with it makes me a better life coach, as I gain more experience, wisdom, knowledge, compassion, clarity, and focus.  You should know I talk to coaches all the time and behind-the-scenes they are struggling, working on, or dealing with something they don’t post about.  They are still being authentic and not phony.  They may use filters on their photos.  I do all the time.  They use retouched photos for their ads and it’s just smart business.  Let’s let go of judging others and ourselves so harshly.  Let people own their best selves and cheer them on as they get closer to it.  I’m cheering you all on and don’t judge you for where you are now.  It’s just today.  Your future self is being created right now.

So if you think you know me from social media, just like all of us, you get a snippet of my life.  Not everyone can be in our private life. I hope you all have friends who can help you when you are going through something…because some people never let anyone in.  If you are going through relationship problems with a partner, child, parent, sibling, or friend, sometimes it’s hard to talk about as it confirms it to be real.  Or we may cry if we start talking.  I have had some really stressful things going on lately (not with the hubs so don’t even get any ideas-LOL!).  I don’t post this on social media, but I will share what I learn on the other side.  If it looks like I am a phony because I post happy things, pretty selfies, and inspiring quotes and you know in my “real life” I have what you would call “problems”…that’s on you.  I am being me in the best way I can.  Going on rants online is not my thing.  Problems are opportunities for solutions.  Just like questions are creating answers.  It’s all about perspective.   There is juice in all of it to be gained.  Be easy on yourself and others. Everyone has got some “stuff.”

I love you guys!

Wishing you all abundant success, passion, happiness, and peace wrapped up in love,
Jenny G. Perry
Mojo Expert-Life Catalyst

P.S.  If you want to set up a call to see if my coaching is right for you, go here:
My FREE telecall next Tuesday:  Self-love isn’t for sissies-How to spot your subconscious blocks and how to finally change your mind.  Register here:

telecalltemplateoct27

10 Mindsets that suck the life out of your relationships, business, self-confidence and happiness

1. Blame game-“They make me so mad!”  DO you keep a scorecard on your partner, kids, colleagues, friends, parents, and even yourself?  You find yourself blaming others for your bad mood?  Their behavior (action) is a fact.  Your mood (feeling) is an opinion. It is a choice to give everyone else the key to your happiness or stop playing the blame game.  This is even with yourself.   Do you blame yourself for everything that goes wrong?  Forgive yourself and refocus on what you want.  What do you want to feel?   Write it on a post it and every day, look at it.  Know what you want and you will get it.  Be easy on yourself in the process.

2. Victim forever-“Why is everything  happening to me?  It’s always been this way.  I can never catch a break.”  Yes, there are bad things that happen to people.   They are victims to what happened in their lives, but they don’t have to stay that way.  They deserve to be victors.  We all do.  We all have the woe-is-me story going at times.  “Why won’t my kids listen to me?  Why doesn’t anyone notice my hard work in my job?”  This is a vibe people give off that is not attractive and people like to get away from you since it’s draining.  Being in a victim mindset will never get you anywhere good.  From your point of power, what are options to think, do, or say?  Your power is available to be harnessed, first from your thinking.  Being fed up is a place to start.  Now I’m going to take action and create the life of my dreams is the next step.

3. Control-Needing to control everything and everyone to feel better.  Like you need to hold the world in your hands.  This sounds like power in business, but it’s a closed off energy. You can’t receive help if you are being a control freak and not allowing someone else to know something or have the missing piece to the puzzle.  It stops the magic.  It creates a lot of anger inside that can become toxic.  This can bring you to anxiety and feelings of powerlessness.  All of that laser focus on wanting to control can be transformed into creative juices if you can learn to relax through releasing attachment, surrendering to the present moment, and meditation or activities of mindfulness.

4. Happiness is down the road-You will never get there.  With this thinking, you won’t.  You don’t have the guarantee of ten years from now, when the house is paid off, you retire, the kids are off to college, or whatever that elusive happiness down the road looks like.  It could be when you lose weight, make more money, or get the guy.  Forget about the guy, your happiness is knocking on your door today.  What can you be grateful for now?  There are things you are missing out on if your happiness lives ten years from now, or even next year…life responds to you.  Circumstances do not determine your level of happiness.  There are a lot of thin, rich, married, successful people that are not happy.  Just watch Reality TV.  You will feel better.  Happy is yours if you keep practicing smiling at yourself in the mirror.  Just try it.

5. Constant comparison-Do you compare yourself to others and feel you fall short?  “Look at their pictures.  Oh, there are so many likes and comments on their picture!  They are doing ‘better” than me.  They are bringing in x amount of sales, clients, revenue. “   SO what?  First of all, is that competition space making you feel bad?  Do you think putting the energy into what you want to create is more productive?  We don’t even know if the person’s numbers or right or how they actually feel. They could secretly be overworked and miserably busy.  Do you.  Let them go.

6. Stuck in the muck-Is your favorite sentence…”I don’t know?”  This is a cop out sometimes.  Afraid to make a mistake or be seen as stupid, bossy, selfish, weird, or whatever, we don’t say what we really want.  Do you have a business or want to start one?  Can you dream big?  Do you feel like you are stuck in the mud and unable to move forward?  Like you’ve been in a funk and you can’t get out.  The past has its claws in you.  Something from the past (loss, failure, rejection, experience, opinion of someone) has paralyzed you.  What’s the solution?  How can you fix your life when the pause button seems stuck?   Do one thing positive today to get things flowing.

7. Lost in limitations-If someone asks you to do something, do you come up with reasons why you can’t do it?  Is it your bank account, your kids, lack of time, your job, your training, or your past that holds you back?  Knowing your limitations and who to hire for things is smart. Don’t try fixing your own toilet from Youtube or anything.  If you build up your strengths instead of looking at those limitations as actual truth, your life gets to be better and more fun.  What you are paying attention to will become greater in your life. It’s the law of attraction principle.  Observe others’ lives and you will see it in action.  Strengths or limitations?  One builds businesses and epic relationships, one kills your life force and makes you go bankrupt.  Write down three strengths you have and repeat them in your mind as affirmations.  What is good about you?  Work on that not just daily, but hourly to get out of your own way.

8. I’m not worthy-Can you take a compliment?  Do you sabotage good things like relationships or your finances?  Did you make a mistake you can’t forgive yourself for?  Do you know your worth?  Do you never feel like you will be good enough?  How much good are you willing to receive?  This is one of the common core beliefs that most people suffer with on a subconscious level and it crops up in all their problems in life.  If your life is a mess, worthiness is at the root.  It can look all neat and clean, like it’s almost perfect…but doesn’t inside feel like a mess?  Worthiness issues create anxiety, depression, and feed addictions.  Working a lot can be to prove our worthiness.  Acquiring lots of beautiful things can be a worthiness issue as well.  Needing to be recognized as something means our worth is wrapped up in something outside of ourselves.  Parents that push their kids to excel and feel judged by others based on their child’s performance are doing this.  Your worth is immeasurable.  You are worthy at your core.  Work on your connection to yourself.

9. Busy disease-“I’m so busy.”  Instead of saying you have a busy life, think of it as a big life.  Busy can be a buzzing energy like a bee, but look like a hamster spinning on his wheel.  If you broke down your life into a pie chart, do you waste time on things that do not yield a result?  Are things that make you happy time wasters to you?  They are yielding happiness.  Schedule in fun if you have to.  Being caught up in the need to be busy is normal.  It makes us feel alive and useful. It comes back to the worthiness issue again.  When you are looking back on this time when you are on your deathbed, what wisdom would you hear?  You should have been busy…or you should have enjoyed life more.  This is not dress rehearsal.  This is the real deal. Today is showtime.  Unbusy your life, your mind, and your way of being.  Peace is inside of you if you turn down the busy.

10. Money is everything-Working like a dog to make more money distracts us from ourselves, but also is backwards thinking in a way.  Having more money means we will have more time, freedom, happiness, security?  It feels different for everyone.  You can make more money, spend it, win it, lose it, but you sure as hell can’t bring it with you. Don’t make it everything.  Relationships, your health, your happiness, your well-being, family, nature, heart-centered experiences, fun adventures, connection to a Higher Power, those are the most important things.  Money is great, but when you don’t have as much as you want, don’t feel bad.  You are still worthy and go out in the sunshine…feel the abundance all around.  Feel your own personal freedom.  Feel how much time you have in that precious moment.  Abundance is many things.  Don’t base life off of a number.  You are more than that.  Go create more joyful moments and money is sure to follow.  Be open to receive it.

I help my clients get out of their own way so they can have the life they know in their heart they are meant to have.  Reinvention are transformation more than possible and dreams do come true.  If you’re ready to shift your mindset and help, I’m your girl.

Lovies,
Jenny G. Perry
-Mojo Expert-Life Catalyst-Intuitive Healer

Mamma Mia

Yesterday, I took a much needed mommy day off. It’s been a long and short summer. Long when the kids were fighting. Short when I counted the seconds of sunshine, no schedules and the beach. I took some time off in general and made myself take a look at how everything was working or not working. More on that later.

Jennylicious takes Manhattan.
Jennylicious takes Manhattan.

After a ride up to Toms River, NJ, we hopped on a bus and headed to the city. I took that time to go through “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte. She’s one of the goddesses I follow and adore. I got real with myself on what I felt, feared, and wanted. Still feeling the unraveling today. So back to the picture. I love taking pictures and having fun. You can see I have no problem being a goober.

Looking for my caricature doppelganger.
Looking for my caricature doppelganger.

My older daughter told me I was so embarrassing taking pictures. I told her that’s my job. She looked like a cool city chick from a fashion blog.  Wish I had a full pic, but she posted one on Instagram.  We giggled guessing the celebrity caricatures on the walls of Sardi’s, one of the New York City’s famous restaurants.  I had Tomato and Mozzarella Salad, Organic Baby Greens salad, and a Portabella Sandwich, washing it down with two glasses of some good Merlot.

photo 4

On the left is my gorgeous older daughter, McKayla, my beautiful Mommy, myself, and my cutie twin-little sizzler, Lizzy. I look like a short person, but I just play one online. 😉

Yes, you already saw my outfit in my classic tourist Times Square photo but I love me a bathroom selfie. A woman asked me where I got this dress. I got it last year from Victoria’s Secret and wore it for my sister’s rehearsal dinner and for our family beach portraits. Tan faux suede fringe sandals I got online from Wet Seal and the nandbag my mom was getting rid of and I brought instead of my big blue Michael Kors bag. I need one of those cute bags for travel when I don’t a million mom things to tote around.

I'm serious about fun.

I didn’t snap show pics because you aren’t suppose to and I was having too much fun enjoying it. Mamma Mia is closing on Broadway next month and I’ so glad we saw it. I loved the movie and the music is timeless. I’m in awe of live performances. I cried twice. Once over a love scene and at the end, knowing it was closing and having one of those soul bursting moments. I cherish these family girl day trips to NYC that we take at least once a year.  SO much work goes into the shows and all that talent just inspires me. And I’m a sucker for sequins.

Givency Rose Dentelle

We went into Sephora, THE MECCA, as we always do.  They secretly took bets that I would buy lipstick. What can I say…I love lipstick!  This lipstick is the perfect end of summer beginning of fall creamy full bodied and yet light color. II sound like I’m describing wine. This color is also becoming for any complexion. Car selfies on the way home once I finished my book and new intentions, I needed to NOT have to think.

Back to real life today, dishes, laundry, refereeing, and business. I wrote out some new house rules and a new mission for our family. I had a therapist this summer tell me my parenting sucked in different words. He has never been to my home and only met one of my kids, but he did get me thinking. This Mama has to restructure her household on a vibrational level so I can make everyone semi-happy including myself, but especially for the little one below. She deserves to have a peaceful home. Maybe when I raise them all, I’ll write a parenting book. That would be in twenty years if ever. In the meantime, you can read what I’m reading “The Conscious Parent” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary. I am seeing my ego in full effect lately without vilifying it, but rather through awareness, floating back to being conscious. You can’t fake when you’re feeling bad that you are all happy. Thank God I have the tools I do as a life coach, but I am still going to feel. Being human is normal regardless of what anyone else’s life “looks” like.

Got her purse and her phone like her mommy

Dylan kept handing me the phone asking to talk to her big sister, Ka, AKA McKayla or Kayla.  She is a firecracker. Wonder what she will teach me next.  She teaches me I need to work on trust and patience already.  She climbs on EVERYTHING and has me saying “Mamma Mia!”  My younger boys are saying “Mylanta” in moments like those.  They got that from Jason on Big Brother 17.  It’s our summer guilty pleasure.  I would be the first one booted off.  I would try to coach everyone, wouldn’t want to lie, and I’d miss my kids and hubby too much.

Anita's Guacamole is so good it should be illegal.
Anita’s Guacamole is so good it should be illegal.

Time to cook up some of these veggies I got from our farm market on Wednesday in our town during the summer. No herbicides or pesticides, I got these with some fresh made cheese and other goodies. More pictures to follow. Enjoy your weekend. If you get the chance to visit New York City, do it. It should be on your bucket list. There are crowds, but the pulse is indescribable. It is what it feels like to be alive. I brought that back to Jersey and I’m going to make life exciting in my world.

How old are you in fashion years?

Do you dress your age?

What is your fashion age?

This is not a judgement about how you dress, just a myth-busting blog here. The idea of dressing your age is asinine. Magazines have shown us for years what to wear in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and beyond. I don’t dress my age because I don’t believe in that. An age does not come with a package of clothing appropriate for that decade or number. Yes, babies should not wear high heels, but children are not part of the point here.

How old are you in fashion years?  Where do you shop?  Where do you want to shop?  What do you want to get away with, but feel like you can’t pull it off?  Answer:  Just decide it.  Love yourself.  And own it, work it, live it.  You can change your style whenever you want…and your life to. Let’s first start with the clothes though.

I love Forever 21. I’m almost 38. I would never want to be 21 again. I don’t pretend I’m in my 20’s. What would that even mean? I know some people judge women when they dress sexy or too “young” as wrong or trying too hard. What if they are just trying to be themselves. I dress for me. It’s fun. I’ve been experimenting with style since I was a kid, minus a few years in my early twenties where I was pretending to look the part of a mom.

I lost myself in the idea of what a mom “should” look, do, and act like. That repressed life force, that hiding of my wildness and untapped creativity made me angry. Rage is something I know well and I’ve embraced my own shadow side which has been angry and acted a fool in many ways. I still love her…as in the dark side of me.  I am more Light, of course, but I own my shadow as well.  Maybe there are some people just full of Light, that lack the depths I’ve explored in the human experience. I’ve been clinically depressed, suffered terrible anxiety, and felt lonely in a crowd, wearing it like an old coat. I taught myself how to love myself enough to become me…and wear fishnets, short jean skirt, and gold high heels on a Wednesday in New Jersey, ownin’ it like I’m a hipster 25 year old in NYC.  Fashion is one of my vibe raisers. It makes me who I am. But I don’t base my opinion of others on what they wear. I realize there are clothes people and car people and cat people…and people that prioritize things different than me. I’m hot for fashion.  I’m thinking my fashion age is 25.  What’s yours?  Have you figured it out yet?  If you don’t like fashion, don’t sweat it.  Just be you and live for yourself first, sweet peach.

25 year old me dressing fashion age 38...at least.
25 year old me dressing fashion age 38…at least.

What a difference a decade and self-love make?
The 30’s me embraced my writing, found myself, and created my reinvention.

38 year old me dressing fashion age 25.
37 year old me dressing fashion age 25.

As I was driving home from getting my hair done, all lookin’ cute and fierce, Prince was playing on the radio, taking me back to my 80’s childhood. Then what came on next was Alanis Morrisette. I thought about driving around playing that tape after I graduated high school and had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I thought of how I love life so much more than my 18 year old self could imagine. 18 year old me would never have believed we would be pregnant and married the next year. Best things to ever happen to me though.  My hubby and oldest daughter have taught me so much.  The rainbow after the storm of my teens.  I should have saved the clothes though. They’re all coming back now.  90’s clothes and 70’s clothes, which is funny because 70’s clothes were cool in the 90’s too as I rocked some bell bottoms and tye-dyes.  I see my life through pictures and what I was wearing at what age.  I love being trendy, but also, just deciding on a look and going for it. Stay tuned to all the florals I have coming up in my vacation fashion next month. And sunglasses. I’m obsessed with them.  I did get some clothes my oldest daughter deemed “my age.”  I laughed.  Of course, I’ll trend them up with some sunnies and headbands.  Growing out the bangs is a pain.  Headbands help.  I got a silver one that reminds me of Alexis from Dynasty.  I still love the clothes and glam from that era.

So back to my outfit from today and my fashion age.  I realized I had to go to one of my kids’ schools and looked at my outfit.  My 25 year old outfit on a 37 year old.

“What is she wearing?”
“Did you see what she’s wearing?”
“A mother shouldn’t dress like that?”
“Where does she think we live?”

The old me, which ruled the roost until age 33, would have thought that people were thinking and saying these things and go into shame for wearing what I wanted.  I know people could still do that, but what my inner voice I said when I looked at my fishnets…”Oh well.”  I don’t care if people like how I dress.  If they judge me, that’s their judgement.  I played small for many years, afraid to be this chick I am now…loud and proud…wild and free…and owning it.  I love to help empower, inspire, and uplift others, even if only through what I post online.  There is lots of good stuff in my book, “Sexpot With Stretch Marks” if you want to read more from me.  If you want to find, discover, or reclaim your mojo like I did, contact me.  I work on lots of stuff with people, all of which go through a mind-body-spirit change.  I transform lives through my coaching.   It’s beautiful to be a part of.

Lesson here:
In your 20’s: Wear what you want, have fun, and love yourself.
In your 30’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself fully…forgive the 20’s you.
In your 40’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself completely…no for real this time.
In your 50’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself unabashedly and live like it’s no longer dress rehearsal.
In your 60’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself to the depth of core and do whatever the hell you want.
In your 70’s: Wear what you want, have fun, and love yourself…you don’t need anyone else’s advice.  You got this.

Instead of dressing your age, dress for your vibe.  It’s so freeing.  If you only live in sweatpants because you love comfort, rock those sweats with pride.  They do sell them with sequins on.  Just sayin’.  I own them.   Smooches!