I’m not Martha Stewart

Before Pinterest social media showing off, I had two kids. I sewed some clothes, baked some cakes, glitterized Christmas balls, made some jewelry, and a general crafting phase would come and go. I only had Martha to go by. I knew I’d never be her. I was happy with my little projects.

Enter the new world of “those” moms. I admire those moms. I am friends with those moms. I love those moms.  I stay in my lane. They stay in theirs. I venture to that side and I’ll cook some amazing soup, but then I get ambitious. I get cocky. I try to dye Easter eggs using natural methods like foods. I see some pins on Pinterest. I rebel. I wing it.  I am not one of those moms.

I tried.  I prepped the night before.  Spinach for green, beet for pink, red cabbage for purple, turmeric for yellow, and paprika for orange. We waited.
I tried. I prepped the night before. Spinach for green, beet for pink, red cabbage for purple, turmeric for yellow, and paprika for orange. We waited.

Nothing.

My oldest son Aidan busted out the food coloring when his few didn't turn color.  Just a white egg.
My oldest son Aidan busted out the food coloring when his few didn’t turn color. Just a white egg.

Of course they got carried away.

Hulk egg is what he was going for.
Hulk egg is what he was going for.

Meanwhile, I’m brainstorming. Add some vinegar. I only have Apple Cider Dr. Braggs. Hey, I’ll give it a whirl.

More playing.  At least they had fun.
More playing. At least they had fun. My middle son Finnegan’s Hulk egg masterpiece.

Now, I’m thinking…what dyes things? Tomato sauce dyes my Tupperware and white sink, plus the kids clothes when they eat spaghetti and I don’t catch the stain in time.

Food coloring made some cool eggs.
Food coloring made some cool eggs. My youngest son Seamus created this design.

As I dunk the eggs that are resistant to my natural methods into the tomato sauce I’m thinking Pizzeria eggs and totally cracking myself up. Wouldn’t it be cool if it worked?

My middle son just says forget it after his Hulk egg and eats a few.  Look at how cool the inside is.  It's art.
Finnegan just says forget it after his Hulk egg and eats a few. Look at how cool the inside is. It’s art.

I’m now telling them (like I’m on like a TED talk) about what Mommy is teaching them here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not nice all the time. I can be mean, stern mom often with five kids with three of them being “spirited” boys. But let me have my TED/good mom moment here. I say, “You know what I’m teaching you guys here? Determination. I didn’t lose sixty pounds, write two books, and become a successful life coach by giving up. You try something. It doesn’t work. You try something else. That doesn’t work. You try something else. That doesn’t work…you what?

The youngest two boys are still in the room and they echo, “You try something else.” I smile.  Patting myself on the back, I leave the eggs to stew in my concoctions and make my Butternut squash soup. I Facebook. I referee with the boys fighting. I give someone a pep talk.  I play with the baby. Isn’t she adorable?

eggs11
She’s so very. My Dylaney Maeve.

 

The final outcome. In the words of Finn as I explain that I’m sharing this story in a blog. “Did you say…EPIC FAIL? Nice try though.”

I say, “No, it wasn’t a failure. Two eggs turned out okay.”

Blue one was from boiled red cabbage with a little vinegar added after a while and the yellow one is from turmeric with vinegar as well.
Blue one was from boiled red cabbage with a little vinegar added after a while and the yellow one is from turmeric with vinegar as well.

Funny thing is in my twenties, as a stay-at-home mom, I would watch Martha Stewart’s show and drool.  I would have felt like a failure with this egg incident. I wouldn’t have told anyone it didn’t turn out because I would have been embarrassed. I would have been mad at myself and gotten crabby. I would have felt stupid. Thank God, I don’t focus on my shortcomings anymore. Self-love transformed me.  Back then, I felt in competition with other moms and other women in general.  At 37, I celebrate the great things about those moms and all women, knowing their strengths do not take away from me.  We all get to be beautiful, smart, and a wonderful in our own unique ways.

For my wins…first of all, I take a mean selfie.

New Victoria's Secret off the shoulder sweatshirt and MAC lipstick, color named Ruby Woo.  Love the name.  I captioned a selfie on Instagram..."Red lipstick solves evverything."  It sure makes me feel good!
New Victoria’s Secret off the shoulder sweatshirt and MAC lipstick, color named Ruby Woo. Love the name. I captioned a selfie on Instagram…”Red lipstick solves everything.” It sure makes me feel good!

Okay, not a full win in parenting department, but my two older boys have been cleaning their room…slowly…like turtle speed, but it’s progress. Last night Aidan was supposed to go home and clean, but he literally passed out on my parents’ couch after dinner.

Allergies?  A cold?  He really wasn't feeling great, but he was at a sleepover the night before.  Quite suspicious!  Today...quite better.
Allergies? A cold? He really wasn’t feeling great, but he was at a sleepover the night before. Quite suspicious! Today…quite better.

Totally not a win, but had to share super funny pic.  I think he has a future in stand up.

Seamus put on his baby sisters coat as we were getting coats on to leave my parents' house.  Dennis the Menace.  God made him cute for a reason.  Remember, he's spirited.
Seamus put on his baby sister’s coat as we were getting ready to leave my parents’ house. Dennis the Menace. God made him cute for a reason. Remember, he’s spirited.

Hope you had a good weekend.  Remember, life’s too short to be hard on yourself. Just let Martha be Martha and you be you. You’re a total rockstar in your own right. Btw…I’ll never stop trying to be crafty. I can’t help myself. Wish me lucky tomorrow as I purchase stuff for the preschool Easter party on Thursday. (Yes, I’m getting a pre-made kit and I’m not ashamed of it.

P.S. My oldest daughter could become the next Martha Stewart, only in her own crafty awesomeness. Watch out, Pinterest, McKayla will be one to watch for.

Chicks let’s unite, and mind our own beeswax. Confessions from a wild mom.

Oh, the stories my kids will tell about me.
Oh, the stories my kids will tell about me.

I was talking with one of my girlfriends this week who is married and is not going to have kids. I applaud her. I love choices. I joked that I had enough for the both of us. She has an amazing business that is growing at a super speed. Being a mother is hardcore with five kids over here and add working, it’s a crazy thing people throw around that’s an illusion called “balance.” It will look different for everyone and changes by the day. Do I need a break sometimes? At least five times a week, the other two days, my hubby is off. True story.

I know of some mothers who chose to not want to be a full time mother anymore, which I wonder, without judgment, if they had any question before they had kids if they really wanted to be a mother? Make no mistake here though, children should be raised by those who will love them and if a mother is going to resent them and be cold towards them, it is not good for kids. They feel it.

I have felt drained by motherhood many times in my almost 18 years of it. I love them with all of my heart, but feel zero guilt about this. It’s real. I became a mom at age 20 and did an amazing job when I consider that as well. I learned to use that low and empty feeling as a barometer on my own mojo-life force-energy. I have to fill myself up and create my own happiness. That is not their job. Kids should not dictate our mood or vibration. I have to remind myself of this daily, but would not trade it for anything in the world. I always knew I wanted to be a mom….just didn’t know there would be so many.

I feel so blessed they chose me. I believe souls can do that. They have become my students and teachers, little secret gurus who have no idea when they hold up the mirror, I can see my shadow side and my light. Always a growth experience, this human gig. Ya know?

I write what I can always without dragging their stuff out into the world as it’s my mission to let both my best version of me out, fierce in fiery words, and grace in its holy sacred. There is always the balance between mother and woman, and yet, every woman is balancing something as we inherently come mentally equip for that. I don’t believe we have to sacrifice. We can have it all, just not everything from the buffet on one plate at the same time.

My career is important to me for my own fulfillment and I could never go back to being a stay-at-home mom exclusively. Without writing, coaching, and having a strong message to spread to the world, I wouldn’t be me.  It makes me who I am.  Being a mother is part of my core and the goddess self who expresses herself and heals others is her juxtaposition.  My kids see a woman who believes in her dreams and works for it. I have found my passions and there will be more I discover along the way. My kids will never have a “perfect” mom. But they’ll have a mom who’s alive not just in the physical sense, but that wild heart-soul deep kind. I live my truth and love to empower other women to do the same.

There is no need to keep score with other women or compete on how they live. Their business, parenting, balance, romantic life, and choices are about them. There is no us versus them. Women united equals freedom. Let them do them well and you do you well. We all win then. Focus on your garden and plant more good seeds, goddesses. Respecting others makes you even more beautiful.

Recipe for a Self-love Mask.

face maskWe had a snow day that yielded not really even a dusting on Tuesday. All that hype and no snow. They had predicted 12-18 and the schools cancelled classes and my the restaurant my hubby works as the Executive Chef closed for the day. With no plans to go anywhere, I figured…why not pamper myself?

Did I still have to feed children? Change diapers, fold laundry, and all that mom stuff? Of course, but I put some Bailey’s and Kaluha in my coffee. I cleared the energy with burning some Palo Alto. It clears negative energy and illness. Two of my kids have had the flu. Moms need to fill up their own love cups so they can mom the best. Yes, mom is a verb too.

My first attempt at the anti-aging, self-love mask was a dud. This one was perfect. I took a rosebud that had fallen off of the bunch. These lavender roses were $12.99 for 24. I wanted to see some flowers if we were going to have a blizzard. Prepping for a storm should always include flowers. One fell off when I got home so 23 was just fine with me. I took the petals and combined them with ingredients to pamper my face, hands, and feet. I rubbed the mask loving in and felt like I was in a fancy spa with all the yummy smells.

1 rosebud (lavender for spiritual connection)
1 tbsp. organic coconut oil
1 tbsp. honey
4-drops of frankincense oil
4 drops of lavender oil

Combine in food processor. Apply to skin and massage. You can keep it on as long as you would like. You can wipe it off and do not need to wash it. You can use a damp cloth. The oils are great for your skin, especially in the winter months. The coconut oil is a great moisturizer and the honey is as well, along with clarifying for the pores, antibacterial which is good for acne, and full of antioxidants which slows down the aging process of the face. Lavender oils soothes the skin and the aroma relaxes you naturally. It is a great stress reliever. Frankincense oil is a great tool for anti-aging and it’s been used ceremonial for thousands of years. It is one of the woo woo type things I love to weave the sacred into my every day. I have anointed my heart, throat, third eye and crown chakras with this. Rose colors corresponds as follows:

Red: Passion, getting stuff done, revving our energy up
Orange: Creativity, sensual nature, connecting to your goddess body
Yellow: Power, before a big business or life move, for standing up for yourself
Pink: Self-love, to increase your love vibration
Purple: Spiritual connection, royal color that connects us to the sacred as well
White: Purifying, Divine Love & Light, Health, clearing of energy

Play with life. Make mud mask or flower masks. Put a flower crown on and take a selfie. Don’t take everything so seriously. Lighten up and life has a way of doing so as well. Intention, belief, focus, and vibration=manifestations and your reality. Fill up your love cup today with whatever nurtures our soul. Post your face mask selfie or just a regular one with the hashtag #selfiebration and #jennygperry I’ll find it and cheer you on as well. Be silly. It’s so fun!

Blessings and beauty,
Jenny

m☮msz, let go.0f thi$ craP & youll B happier

beingwrong

 

I purposefully did this with all the grammar mistakes because this leads into the first one on the list. I remember someone calling me out on my first typos online and I felt so embarrassed…like the dream where you show up naked to school.  I know I’m sure I will give the grammar police a slight twitch when they read this, but perfect writing is overrated.  I like heart.  Yes, decent grammar is a must, but as an author, I drove myself nuts at times trying to figure out the rules and realizing there is always an exception to the rule.  I think of myself as an exception to the rule and know, whenever I generalize as I tell my truth, there will be an exception to the rule.  I pissed off a few people on Twitter a few days ago with my blog on the Huffington Post titled Sex, Violence, & Weight.  I don’t like the porn industry.  I stand by that.  I love naked art though.  Totally different vibe to me.  I am sure there are kind people who are happy in porn and mean people who are unhappy in nude paintings.  But I like having an opinion on some things.  It’s part of my fierce.  Feel free to weigh in on the comments.  I like to open my mind and heart more daily while staying true to me. These are a few things I let go of and became much happier.  Start your own list.  I bet you’ve let go of some stuff too.

 

1. Mrs. Faketastic: That being perfect, polished in every way (even writing), or always looking cool act. Feeling like I ever have to put on a show in life or be fake is no bueno. I used to pretend a lot. I don’t like BS anymore. I love authenticity. I know I will look foolish, stupid, crazy, or like an idiot to someone at some point. In my twenties, I wanted to be liked and fit in. Then I realized my spirit would die inside if that was my motivation  in life. Not my spirit, like in my soul, but as in my inner fire. Truth is, I drank a lot at times because I NEVER felt comfortable or like I belonged. It’s like alien syndrome. (That would make another blog for sure.)  I always felt like I was one stupid sentence (a strong opinion or heartfelt share) away from a friendship ending. This is where I became good at the chameleon. I was and still am good at being a chameleon, only nowadays the gig is up, cause peeps can read my stuff and I let my woo-woo-fire-goddess out on paper and the internet. They see me.  No hiding. I love taking selfies and I ain’t afraid to post ’em with some kickass words of mine.  It’s part of my life’s purpose to share my wisdom in teaching through many mediums.  Mrs. Faketastic would never get the beautiful messages I get from people who tell me I have helped them by sharing my journey through words. Being me has become the most freeing and fulfilling lifestyle.  Do I still get uncomfortable sometimes?  Yes, I am human.  It’s part of my process I think.  New friends always replaced the ones that my flavor was too much or not enough.   You will see some people fade out of your life and you will feel like an ass at times when you live your full truth, but Mrs. Faketastic always ends up miserable in her own story and the dorky free spirit next door in the 80’s movies always triumphs anyway.

 

2. Craft-o-matic-Mom of Pinterestland: You probably know her. She is often a shade of blond or at least has highlights, that pretty bitch!  Just kidding…totally. I actually have artsy-crafty-magical friends that range from very blonde to a few very dark raven-haired beauties.  They are sweethearts who don’t do it for show, it’s who they are. I love seeing how they come up with their magic. I would have felt small next to them in my twenties. I wouldn’t have known where to put myself, like what value did I have, or bring to the friendship. This led to hot glue gun and rhinestone phases, salivating over beads as I made earrings, a homemade Barbie cake, and sewing various things. I am just not that person, but I love art and crafting. Just some peeps have gifts. I am not good at crocheting. I’m okay with this. I can cook like a mofo. I do things with love now, not a need to be anything. And I so had a Pinterest fail with cupcakes last Halloween, but I made an adorable preggo Leopard so I had fun and my kids thought the cupcakes with melted marshmallow fluff still looked cool. I was never doing anything 100% for the kids anyway back then, it was for the moms and to feel good about myself. There was 10% fun in the artsy fartsy endeavors, which is way too low. This kind of stuff activated the competition in my earlier time in MomWorld that I did not like. We can all win at being us.  Being a good mom (whatever that means and I have let go of that one too…okay, I haven’t but I’m trying) is about love and doesn’t have anything to do with other parenting styles.  Many of them all work fine and kids turn out semi-normal.

 

3. FOMO-ism: I suffered from this at birth until I swear just a few years ago. I just found out about this acronym and I LOVE it! Fear Of Missing Out. Story of ma life (said which Cali Valley girl accent) cause with being an avid 90210 girl in the 90’s I wanted to be that “it” girl who never missed out. Things revolved around her. She was never the tagalong. She was Queen Bee. Everyone loved her (well, they fear her too), but it seemed so awesome to never be left behind. She was validated, accepted, approved of, but she was actually the teenage version of Mrs. Faketastic. Whenever there was a party, event, opportunity, new acquaintance to a circle, or some cool thing, I wanted to be on it and a part of it. Why? Because I believed in a lack-full Universe that only has so much, versus an abundant one where there are many ships coming in. The Law of Attraction taught me that gem, to focus on what I want and how I wasted A LOT of energy on stupid stuff. I think of my twenties and early thirties as part of me still stuck in middle school.  It was even seeping into my parenting.  If my kid didn’t do that activity, he/she wouldn’t be cool or as far along as others.  When I couldn’t afford a program, I’d convince myself it that it wasn’t worth it either or I’d beat myself up.  Now with five kids, I don’t force activities on them anyway.  I don’t believe in passing along keeping up with the Joneses.  I learned every family has a different dynamic that works for them, with different priorities and judging them takes too much time and energy…but especially my life force-mojo-spirit and I’d rather focus on higher consciousness than whose doing what and how I classify it.

 

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