Sexpot With Stretch Marks

Sexpot Book Cover one

Hello cuties! Going with a thankful Thursday vibe here even though my two youngest sons are driving each other bonkers at the end of summer here. (I have five kiddos from 2 1/2 to 19.) I wanted to spread some positivity to all you mommies. If you lost your mojo, need a pick-me-up today or just like to read uplifting stuff, click below for a copy of my ebook, Sexpot With Stretch Marks~Fierce Musings Along the Journey to Self-Love with Sass.” Have a fabulous day!

http://jennygperry.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Book-PDF.pdf

Love, Jenny
xx

I Would Have Been Burned At The Stake

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As I was driving to my middle son’s field trip yesterday, I had this song on repeat.  I was looking at the trees with so much love.  Truly, I can tap into to this pulse of the Universe.  This wild and ancient knowing of our true power and that of the Universe.  I’m so connected to nature.  It is a deep feeling I can’t explain really.  But as I was feeling so alive and in love with life, letting the music caress my soul, grateful I’m an entrepreneur and have the freedom to plan my life, day, and vibe.  I choose joy.  Is everything perfect in my life?  No.  But it’s pretty damn wonderful.

No makeup, just pure sunscreen and bug spray, full of happiness with my middle boy.  His trip was to Cold Spring Village in Cape May, NJ.  I have been there two other times, each on a field trip with my older two kids.  I forget everything each time, so it was new to me.  First stop was a home built in 1820.  I looked on the website and I think it’s the  Spicer-Leaming house.  We learned so much.  Like blow your mind learning.  Boys were married at 16, girls were married at 13.  Their parents choose who you would marry.  Men died at 45, women died at 35.  They often died at childbirth and disease was killing everyone off due to the uncleanliness and spread of germs. I think she said if you had 8 kids, 5 of them would die.  They didn’t name their babies until they were 9-12 months old.  Breaks my heart thinking of how much sadness that they had to deal with.  You had no freedom.  Women couldn’t even drink at the tavern.  LOL!  That was a dealbreaker for me.  I would have truly been burned at the stake.  I’m too rebellious by nature and ain’t no man gonna boss me around.  The moms and teachers were all saying how we would not have fit in then.  These women are independent and speak their minds.  My kind of gals.  Oh…and when you died, your family put your dead body on the kitchen table and put flowers around you so you didn’t stink as much.  The rotting body on the table caused many of the health problems obviously.

This guy was acting like he was a teacher back in the 1800’s. I stood outside to enjoy the sunshine with my friend, Jill. We could hear his sternness and then the kids laughed. He punished them by making one kid wear a dunce cap and another one by standing on a brick. It was to shame them. I can see how shame was so ingrained in that culture and the next two generations. Everyone was not allowed to feel. It was pretend, keep in line, be reserved. Wild was not allowed. Again, I would have been burned at the stake. I would have let my wild slip out at some point. I imagine there was no room for desire, so they had a lot of anger inside at not being allowed to be in love and make love to who they wanted. How many gay people died a regretful life having never truly loved back then?  I think about feelings, versus isn’t the carpenter exhibit cool. Although he did inspire Finn to want to be a carpenter now…for this week at least.

I got the feels for a second in the printing press seeing old newspapers and as a writer, thinking of how much freedom is created through writing. Not that I think they could write what whatever they wanted of course.  The first sign, how true is the top line!  The second part is hilarious.  The coffee sign cracked me up too.  Female writers always seemed so saucy and daring back in the day and of course…still.

press

coffee

The kids had a great day and so did I.  Hanging out with my girl, Jill, who was in our group needs to be done more often.  Duh…we talked about Prince.  I’m going to call her Princess from now on.  She’s the bees’ knees.  I got to give hugs and kisses to my friend. Christine’s daughter, Waverly.  I adore her and Christine.  I got to also hug my friend, Jaime, who I have not seen in ages.  Also, my friend Tobi who I feel like no time has passed since the field trip last year.  I was honored to get smiles and a few words from my friends Stacey, Jenny, Steffanie and a few other chicas.  Finn’s teacher, Mrs. Naplacic, is so real and funny.  That seems to be a theme around me.  I know so many fierce and fabulous women.  It’s so cool.

I had a newfound gratitude and fresh perspective on my life and how much freedom I have.  The day ended so beautifully with me putting on my bikini and heading to the beach with my hubby, kids, and meeting my fabulous photographer friend, Violet. She did my most recent photoshoot and she is not only a joy to work with, but super talented.  Just look at my website.

I took a picture of myself, her, the beach, and then my phone died and was off the grid for a few hours.  It was so freeing.  But I wish I could have shown you all the glorious blues that lit up my children’s eyes as the sun set.  It was a goosebump happy I’ll never forget.  Finn came down after his playdate on the playground.  I actually felt like a millionaire already.  I felt the riches.  I am so rich.  Whoa on the blessings for sure.  i could not have asked for more in that moment.

Serenity me

My haven

 

My beautiful blue bracelet I bought for $3.15 cents on teh field trip. I thought I just wanted to get the blue for throat chakra work as I expand my audience. But it reminds of me blue skies. To keep my head in the clouds and focused on my dreams.

 

My friend and photographer, Violet Karyn. Click blow the picture for her website.

I tried to capture her beauty and how her mirrored glasses were reflecting the blues of the sky and ocean.  She looked so dreamy!  But she clearly is the photographer.  We talked God, problems, fears, had some laughs, and prayed together.  That’s how I roll.   The link to her website is below.

Violet Karyn Photography

Here’s the badass tee I’m wearing.

My shirts which would definitely gotten me burned.
wild

Never be afraid of your wild.  It’s part of your power.  As women, it is what connects us to that force when we give birth.  You’re magic.  Be unapologetic true to you.  Have a blessed day, sweet cheeks!

P.S.  Ended the day with Skinnygirl Spicy Margaritas while watching Real Housewives and There Goes The Motherhood…cause you know…balance.  😉  A few of the moms from #TGTM were tweeting back to me so it was really fun.  They are some great moms.  Life is good.  Always look for the good.

Follow them:

https://twitter.com/stefaniefair?lang=en
https://twitter.com/resichfamily?lang=en
https://twitter.com/iambethbowen?lang=en
https://twitter.com/jpinkeb?lang=en
https://twitter.com/AlisaStarler?lang=en

Why I’m a phony?

And you are too.
What?
Blasphemy for a life coach!

Do I really believe this?

No.  I think we are all human.  I think some of us try to focus on the positive.  And if you are promoting your business, lifestyle, coaching or positioning yourself as an expert…you should have ALL your shit together.

A.  This is a perfectionist trap.
B.  This would mean you would have to live in a hut in the middle of nowhere ALONE with all your needs taken care of.

You know…conditions would have to be PERFECT.  Hahahaha!  My life in in New Jersey.  I have five kids.  They are all spirited with complex personalities.  Obviously all kids are, but most of mine are fiery.  Wonder where they get it from.  😉

Even if you are just on social media for fun, you are not being 100% authentic.  I try to be heart authentic as possible, but I’m not posting pics of my junk drawers (yes, plural) or how my bathrooms need to be cleaned. Does this mean people can’t know the real me.  The real me is ALL of it, good, babd, and ugly but lots of times I can’t post stuff related to other people in my life and it’s their business anyway.  Does it hold me back as a writer and blogger…at times yes.  Does it hold me back as a life coach, to not post all the rawness?  No, but dealing with it makes me a better life coach, as I gain more experience, wisdom, knowledge, compassion, clarity, and focus.  You should know I talk to coaches all the time and behind-the-scenes they are struggling, working on, or dealing with something they don’t post about.  They are still being authentic and not phony.  They may use filters on their photos.  I do all the time.  They use retouched photos for their ads and it’s just smart business.  Let’s let go of judging others and ourselves so harshly.  Let people own their best selves and cheer them on as they get closer to it.  I’m cheering you all on and don’t judge you for where you are now.  It’s just today.  Your future self is being created right now.

So if you think you know me from social media, just like all of us, you get a snippet of my life.  Not everyone can be in our private life. I hope you all have friends who can help you when you are going through something…because some people never let anyone in.  If you are going through relationship problems with a partner, child, parent, sibling, or friend, sometimes it’s hard to talk about as it confirms it to be real.  Or we may cry if we start talking.  I have had some really stressful things going on lately (not with the hubs so don’t even get any ideas-LOL!).  I don’t post this on social media, but I will share what I learn on the other side.  If it looks like I am a phony because I post happy things, pretty selfies, and inspiring quotes and you know in my “real life” I have what you would call “problems”…that’s on you.  I am being me in the best way I can.  Going on rants online is not my thing.  Problems are opportunities for solutions.  Just like questions are creating answers.  It’s all about perspective.   There is juice in all of it to be gained.  Be easy on yourself and others. Everyone has got some “stuff.”

I love you guys!

Wishing you all abundant success, passion, happiness, and peace wrapped up in love,
Jenny G. Perry
Mojo Expert-Life Catalyst

P.S.  If you want to set up a call to see if my coaching is right for you, go here:
My FREE telecall next Tuesday:  Self-love isn’t for sissies-How to spot your subconscious blocks and how to finally change your mind.  Register here:

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Mamma Mia

Yesterday, I took a much needed mommy day off. It’s been a long and short summer. Long when the kids were fighting. Short when I counted the seconds of sunshine, no schedules and the beach. I took some time off in general and made myself take a look at how everything was working or not working. More on that later.

Jennylicious takes Manhattan.
Jennylicious takes Manhattan.

After a ride up to Toms River, NJ, we hopped on a bus and headed to the city. I took that time to go through “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte. She’s one of the goddesses I follow and adore. I got real with myself on what I felt, feared, and wanted. Still feeling the unraveling today. So back to the picture. I love taking pictures and having fun. You can see I have no problem being a goober.

Looking for my caricature doppelganger.
Looking for my caricature doppelganger.

My older daughter told me I was so embarrassing taking pictures. I told her that’s my job. She looked like a cool city chick from a fashion blog.  Wish I had a full pic, but she posted one on Instagram.  We giggled guessing the celebrity caricatures on the walls of Sardi’s, one of the New York City’s famous restaurants.  I had Tomato and Mozzarella Salad, Organic Baby Greens salad, and a Portabella Sandwich, washing it down with two glasses of some good Merlot.

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On the left is my gorgeous older daughter, McKayla, my beautiful Mommy, myself, and my cutie twin-little sizzler, Lizzy. I look like a short person, but I just play one online. 😉

Yes, you already saw my outfit in my classic tourist Times Square photo but I love me a bathroom selfie. A woman asked me where I got this dress. I got it last year from Victoria’s Secret and wore it for my sister’s rehearsal dinner and for our family beach portraits. Tan faux suede fringe sandals I got online from Wet Seal and the nandbag my mom was getting rid of and I brought instead of my big blue Michael Kors bag. I need one of those cute bags for travel when I don’t a million mom things to tote around.

I'm serious about fun.

I didn’t snap show pics because you aren’t suppose to and I was having too much fun enjoying it. Mamma Mia is closing on Broadway next month and I’ so glad we saw it. I loved the movie and the music is timeless. I’m in awe of live performances. I cried twice. Once over a love scene and at the end, knowing it was closing and having one of those soul bursting moments. I cherish these family girl day trips to NYC that we take at least once a year.  SO much work goes into the shows and all that talent just inspires me. And I’m a sucker for sequins.

Givency Rose Dentelle

We went into Sephora, THE MECCA, as we always do.  They secretly took bets that I would buy lipstick. What can I say…I love lipstick!  This lipstick is the perfect end of summer beginning of fall creamy full bodied and yet light color. II sound like I’m describing wine. This color is also becoming for any complexion. Car selfies on the way home once I finished my book and new intentions, I needed to NOT have to think.

Back to real life today, dishes, laundry, refereeing, and business. I wrote out some new house rules and a new mission for our family. I had a therapist this summer tell me my parenting sucked in different words. He has never been to my home and only met one of my kids, but he did get me thinking. This Mama has to restructure her household on a vibrational level so I can make everyone semi-happy including myself, but especially for the little one below. She deserves to have a peaceful home. Maybe when I raise them all, I’ll write a parenting book. That would be in twenty years if ever. In the meantime, you can read what I’m reading “The Conscious Parent” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary. I am seeing my ego in full effect lately without vilifying it, but rather through awareness, floating back to being conscious. You can’t fake when you’re feeling bad that you are all happy. Thank God I have the tools I do as a life coach, but I am still going to feel. Being human is normal regardless of what anyone else’s life “looks” like.

Got her purse and her phone like her mommy

Dylan kept handing me the phone asking to talk to her big sister, Ka, AKA McKayla or Kayla.  She is a firecracker. Wonder what she will teach me next.  She teaches me I need to work on trust and patience already.  She climbs on EVERYTHING and has me saying “Mamma Mia!”  My younger boys are saying “Mylanta” in moments like those.  They got that from Jason on Big Brother 17.  It’s our summer guilty pleasure.  I would be the first one booted off.  I would try to coach everyone, wouldn’t want to lie, and I’d miss my kids and hubby too much.

Anita's Guacamole is so good it should be illegal.
Anita’s Guacamole is so good it should be illegal.

Time to cook up some of these veggies I got from our farm market on Wednesday in our town during the summer. No herbicides or pesticides, I got these with some fresh made cheese and other goodies. More pictures to follow. Enjoy your weekend. If you get the chance to visit New York City, do it. It should be on your bucket list. There are crowds, but the pulse is indescribable. It is what it feels like to be alive. I brought that back to Jersey and I’m going to make life exciting in my world.

I’m not Martha Stewart

Before Pinterest social media showing off, I had two kids. I sewed some clothes, baked some cakes, glitterized Christmas balls, made some jewelry, and a general crafting phase would come and go. I only had Martha to go by. I knew I’d never be her. I was happy with my little projects.

Enter the new world of “those” moms. I admire those moms. I am friends with those moms. I love those moms.  I stay in my lane. They stay in theirs. I venture to that side and I’ll cook some amazing soup, but then I get ambitious. I get cocky. I try to dye Easter eggs using natural methods like foods. I see some pins on Pinterest. I rebel. I wing it.  I am not one of those moms.

I tried.  I prepped the night before.  Spinach for green, beet for pink, red cabbage for purple, turmeric for yellow, and paprika for orange. We waited.
I tried. I prepped the night before. Spinach for green, beet for pink, red cabbage for purple, turmeric for yellow, and paprika for orange. We waited.

Nothing.

My oldest son Aidan busted out the food coloring when his few didn't turn color.  Just a white egg.
My oldest son Aidan busted out the food coloring when his few didn’t turn color. Just a white egg.

Of course they got carried away.

Hulk egg is what he was going for.
Hulk egg is what he was going for.

Meanwhile, I’m brainstorming. Add some vinegar. I only have Apple Cider Dr. Braggs. Hey, I’ll give it a whirl.

More playing.  At least they had fun.
More playing. At least they had fun. My middle son Finnegan’s Hulk egg masterpiece.

Now, I’m thinking…what dyes things? Tomato sauce dyes my Tupperware and white sink, plus the kids clothes when they eat spaghetti and I don’t catch the stain in time.

Food coloring made some cool eggs.
Food coloring made some cool eggs. My youngest son Seamus created this design.

As I dunk the eggs that are resistant to my natural methods into the tomato sauce I’m thinking Pizzeria eggs and totally cracking myself up. Wouldn’t it be cool if it worked?

My middle son just says forget it after his Hulk egg and eats a few.  Look at how cool the inside is.  It's art.
Finnegan just says forget it after his Hulk egg and eats a few. Look at how cool the inside is. It’s art.

I’m now telling them (like I’m on like a TED talk) about what Mommy is teaching them here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not nice all the time. I can be mean, stern mom often with five kids with three of them being “spirited” boys. But let me have my TED/good mom moment here. I say, “You know what I’m teaching you guys here? Determination. I didn’t lose sixty pounds, write two books, and become a successful life coach by giving up. You try something. It doesn’t work. You try something else. That doesn’t work. You try something else. That doesn’t work…you what?

The youngest two boys are still in the room and they echo, “You try something else.” I smile.  Patting myself on the back, I leave the eggs to stew in my concoctions and make my Butternut squash soup. I Facebook. I referee with the boys fighting. I give someone a pep talk.  I play with the baby. Isn’t she adorable?

eggs11
She’s so very. My Dylaney Maeve.

 

The final outcome. In the words of Finn as I explain that I’m sharing this story in a blog. “Did you say…EPIC FAIL? Nice try though.”

I say, “No, it wasn’t a failure. Two eggs turned out okay.”

Blue one was from boiled red cabbage with a little vinegar added after a while and the yellow one is from turmeric with vinegar as well.
Blue one was from boiled red cabbage with a little vinegar added after a while and the yellow one is from turmeric with vinegar as well.

Funny thing is in my twenties, as a stay-at-home mom, I would watch Martha Stewart’s show and drool.  I would have felt like a failure with this egg incident. I wouldn’t have told anyone it didn’t turn out because I would have been embarrassed. I would have been mad at myself and gotten crabby. I would have felt stupid. Thank God, I don’t focus on my shortcomings anymore. Self-love transformed me.  Back then, I felt in competition with other moms and other women in general.  At 37, I celebrate the great things about those moms and all women, knowing their strengths do not take away from me.  We all get to be beautiful, smart, and a wonderful in our own unique ways.

For my wins…first of all, I take a mean selfie.

New Victoria's Secret off the shoulder sweatshirt and MAC lipstick, color named Ruby Woo.  Love the name.  I captioned a selfie on Instagram..."Red lipstick solves evverything."  It sure makes me feel good!
New Victoria’s Secret off the shoulder sweatshirt and MAC lipstick, color named Ruby Woo. Love the name. I captioned a selfie on Instagram…”Red lipstick solves everything.” It sure makes me feel good!

Okay, not a full win in parenting department, but my two older boys have been cleaning their room…slowly…like turtle speed, but it’s progress. Last night Aidan was supposed to go home and clean, but he literally passed out on my parents’ couch after dinner.

Allergies?  A cold?  He really wasn't feeling great, but he was at a sleepover the night before.  Quite suspicious!  Today...quite better.
Allergies? A cold? He really wasn’t feeling great, but he was at a sleepover the night before. Quite suspicious! Today…quite better.

Totally not a win, but had to share super funny pic.  I think he has a future in stand up.

Seamus put on his baby sisters coat as we were getting coats on to leave my parents' house.  Dennis the Menace.  God made him cute for a reason.  Remember, he's spirited.
Seamus put on his baby sister’s coat as we were getting ready to leave my parents’ house. Dennis the Menace. God made him cute for a reason. Remember, he’s spirited.

Hope you had a good weekend.  Remember, life’s too short to be hard on yourself. Just let Martha be Martha and you be you. You’re a total rockstar in your own right. Btw…I’ll never stop trying to be crafty. I can’t help myself. Wish me lucky tomorrow as I purchase stuff for the preschool Easter party on Thursday. (Yes, I’m getting a pre-made kit and I’m not ashamed of it.

P.S. My oldest daughter could become the next Martha Stewart, only in her own crafty awesomeness. Watch out, Pinterest, McKayla will be one to watch for.

The Curse of The Positive Thinker

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Photo credit: Macpherson Family Photography

People think I’m always happy because of my writing and coaching. I’m a life coach. So yes, I help change people’s lives. I have answers. I have tools to create more happiness. I’m a healer. I can tap into cosmic greatness. I still bleed though. I’m not talking literally here, but rather I’m not immune to the human experience as a whole which can make negative thoughts cross my mind for a moment or not the best words come out of my mouth. Especially when my kids are fighting, I can be out of coaching mode so much that I look like a lunatic. Rest assured, I’m not. I’m almost normal.

This curse is not really a curse actually, but rather just authenticity. It’s a personal truth. I am not always positive in my own life. Audience goes quiet and there’s a sigh of relief…I hope.

A few years ago, I felt like this made me a fraud. Then a coach I respected told me not to wait until everything was perfect in my own life, in order to coach others. It was freeing. I only had four kids then and more to learn about myself.

Last summer, I was trying to focus on my writing and enjoy being with my kids, treating my business as a hobby at times. I was feeling off. Perfection can be a trap (one of the titles in my book Sexpot With Stretch Marks is Perfectionism is a Crap Trap). It is. I had to reexamine my priorities, energy, focus, thinking, belief, everything. I felt lost and unclear about the right direction and afraid I would not achieve what I knew in my heart was both my destiny and dream. I told my husband I wasn’t happy and that things needed to change. I was getting sucked back into motherhood.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mother. I was born to do it. I’ve been one for almost 18 years. It’s just not enough for me. I have ambition and I want to be around for my kids. I’m a have your cake and eat it girl. I almost cringe at that word “balance” anymore. People always say to me “I don’t know how you do it all?” I feel like I’m missing something when they say that, like I should be cleaning or something. I have to remind myself not to fall for a positive thinking perfectionism, where I’m not allowed to feel it all.

The truth is I’m human. I’m a kickass coach, life catalyst, mojo expert, #1 best-selling author, mother of five, supportive wife, blogger, and more, but the human part can feel the most real. I’m very spiritual. I feel energy. It’s called an empath. I see it as all emotions are okay in theory, but anger I judge in myself and my kids. Concepts are so easy to write, teach, and coach about…but I have five kids…which is FIVE different personalities I have to try to manage or give room to grow at any given moment. I had to learn I do not create their happiness nor do they disallow mine.

Adding the marketing, advertising, and business side to my big life last summer was taking the fun and magic out of a lot of what I loved about coaching, writing, blogging and life. I decided to get self-full again. (Moms must remember self-care equals a happy family. Selfish is bullshit…call it happiness survival.)

Just know you can be the most positive person in the world and have a bad day, get in a funk, be a raging bitch for an hour, or experience the variety pack of emotions and still fall in the positive category. I’m always a rockstar of me no matter what emotion may rise, I still got it.

Being positive will change your life. But you will have feelings that lead you to more of yourself, more desire, clarity, and expansion. They might not feel pretty. You may cry, yell, feel confused, feel like a big fat phony because you feel like you’re back to square one, new student on the first day of school. It’s okay. You can feel that way when you reach a new level of awesome. Don’t believe what doubt tells you. Your bad days don’t take away from your accomplishments, your genius, or how much you have learned. Coaches, healers, positive thinkers can say “I don’t know” or feel like their tank is empty. I won’t judge you. You’re a human, not a robot. On the other side is always the pot of gold. You feel freer, lighter, truer, richer, and you will know more. Don’t be afraid you’re off your path EVER. You can’t get off of it. The journey that you’re creating every day will have hills, valleys, sunny days, clouds, rain, traffic, wind, joy rides where you’re alone on the road and you need it all to appreciate the stillness of getting to your new destination before you take off in a new adventure of desire. Positive thinkers, it’s okay to be perfectly you on a bad day and eat all the chocolate you can find. You’re amazing. Don’t forget it. Transformation is never on pause, folks.

BUSINESS STUFF***(Psst…pretty headshots and great ads look nice, but I’ll always be me.) When looking for a coach, trust your gut, go by your feeling, not savvy words or glossy look to anything. You should resonate with their philosophies. You will know who is right for you. Not one coach is right for everyone. Never let anyone pressure to act now or you’ll explode. Marketing people, don’t kill me for that, but there is a difference between creating urgency for people to have their best life and dragging people down the road to true happiness when they’re not ready. A no is no. A maybe is a maybe. You will always get more clients. You do not need to use force to be a force. And there is no competition with coaches. We are all different flavors and plenty of customers looking over the menu.