What are you working on?

Tell me. For me, I’m always learning and challenging myself.

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When resistance comes up, you don’t have to stop. I wholeheartedly believe in the motto: “Trust the process.” Tell me, declare it, what are you really willing to admit that is challenging you? Not what’s keeping you down. That would be a victim. A powerful force of nature knows the winds eventually calm and that for a seed to let the bloom burst forth, it’s not subtle. It’s intense. Stillness is a beautiful thing, but not a permanent state of being. Yes, stay centered within. Life will churn up stuff, whether you are like me or not, challenging yourself to be more. Releasing what isn’t you reveals what is. What limiting beliefs have fooled you into thinking you were something or you were not? What limiting beliefs do you have? What beliefs serve you?

How old are you in fashion years?

Do you dress your age?

What is your fashion age?

This is not a judgement about how you dress, just a myth-busting blog here. The idea of dressing your age is asinine. Magazines have shown us for years what to wear in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and beyond. I don’t dress my age because I don’t believe in that. An age does not come with a package of clothing appropriate for that decade or number. Yes, babies should not wear high heels, but children are not part of the point here.

How old are you in fashion years?  Where do you shop?  Where do you want to shop?  What do you want to get away with, but feel like you can’t pull it off?  Answer:  Just decide it.  Love yourself.  And own it, work it, live it.  You can change your style whenever you want…and your life to. Let’s first start with the clothes though.

I love Forever 21. I’m almost 38. I would never want to be 21 again. I don’t pretend I’m in my 20’s. What would that even mean? I know some people judge women when they dress sexy or too “young” as wrong or trying too hard. What if they are just trying to be themselves. I dress for me. It’s fun. I’ve been experimenting with style since I was a kid, minus a few years in my early twenties where I was pretending to look the part of a mom.

I lost myself in the idea of what a mom “should” look, do, and act like. That repressed life force, that hiding of my wildness and untapped creativity made me angry. Rage is something I know well and I’ve embraced my own shadow side which has been angry and acted a fool in many ways. I still love her…as in the dark side of me.  I am more Light, of course, but I own my shadow as well.  Maybe there are some people just full of Light, that lack the depths I’ve explored in the human experience. I’ve been clinically depressed, suffered terrible anxiety, and felt lonely in a crowd, wearing it like an old coat. I taught myself how to love myself enough to become me…and wear fishnets, short jean skirt, and gold high heels on a Wednesday in New Jersey, ownin’ it like I’m a hipster 25 year old in NYC.  Fashion is one of my vibe raisers. It makes me who I am. But I don’t base my opinion of others on what they wear. I realize there are clothes people and car people and cat people…and people that prioritize things different than me. I’m hot for fashion.  I’m thinking my fashion age is 25.  What’s yours?  Have you figured it out yet?  If you don’t like fashion, don’t sweat it.  Just be you and live for yourself first, sweet peach.

25 year old me dressing fashion age 38...at least.
25 year old me dressing fashion age 38…at least.

What a difference a decade and self-love make?
The 30’s me embraced my writing, found myself, and created my reinvention.

38 year old me dressing fashion age 25.
37 year old me dressing fashion age 25.

As I was driving home from getting my hair done, all lookin’ cute and fierce, Prince was playing on the radio, taking me back to my 80’s childhood. Then what came on next was Alanis Morrisette. I thought about driving around playing that tape after I graduated high school and had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I thought of how I love life so much more than my 18 year old self could imagine. 18 year old me would never have believed we would be pregnant and married the next year. Best things to ever happen to me though.  My hubby and oldest daughter have taught me so much.  The rainbow after the storm of my teens.  I should have saved the clothes though. They’re all coming back now.  90’s clothes and 70’s clothes, which is funny because 70’s clothes were cool in the 90’s too as I rocked some bell bottoms and tye-dyes.  I see my life through pictures and what I was wearing at what age.  I love being trendy, but also, just deciding on a look and going for it. Stay tuned to all the florals I have coming up in my vacation fashion next month. And sunglasses. I’m obsessed with them.  I did get some clothes my oldest daughter deemed “my age.”  I laughed.  Of course, I’ll trend them up with some sunnies and headbands.  Growing out the bangs is a pain.  Headbands help.  I got a silver one that reminds me of Alexis from Dynasty.  I still love the clothes and glam from that era.

So back to my outfit from today and my fashion age.  I realized I had to go to one of my kids’ schools and looked at my outfit.  My 25 year old outfit on a 37 year old.

“What is she wearing?”
“Did you see what she’s wearing?”
“A mother shouldn’t dress like that?”
“Where does she think we live?”

The old me, which ruled the roost until age 33, would have thought that people were thinking and saying these things and go into shame for wearing what I wanted.  I know people could still do that, but what my inner voice I said when I looked at my fishnets…”Oh well.”  I don’t care if people like how I dress.  If they judge me, that’s their judgement.  I played small for many years, afraid to be this chick I am now…loud and proud…wild and free…and owning it.  I love to help empower, inspire, and uplift others, even if only through what I post online.  There is lots of good stuff in my book, “Sexpot With Stretch Marks” if you want to read more from me.  If you want to find, discover, or reclaim your mojo like I did, contact me.  I work on lots of stuff with people, all of which go through a mind-body-spirit change.  I transform lives through my coaching.   It’s beautiful to be a part of.

Lesson here:
In your 20’s: Wear what you want, have fun, and love yourself.
In your 30’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself fully…forgive the 20’s you.
In your 40’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself completely…no for real this time.
In your 50’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself unabashedly and live like it’s no longer dress rehearsal.
In your 60’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself to the depth of core and do whatever the hell you want.
In your 70’s: Wear what you want, have fun, and love yourself…you don’t need anyone else’s advice.  You got this.

Instead of dressing your age, dress for your vibe.  It’s so freeing.  If you only live in sweatpants because you love comfort, rock those sweats with pride.  They do sell them with sequins on.  Just sayin’.  I own them.   Smooches!

Happy Mail

image
In case you didn’t know. 🙂

I love happy mail.
My business address is:
P.O. Box 1132
Ocean City, NJ 08226

I wanted to share some of my day with you. I got this happy mail from How to Be A Redhead.  Isn’t it awesome! This color loves me.  Blue is one of my colors, not just because of my hair, but my eyes are blue and it makes them pop.  I think anyone can wear blue though.

No words describe this properly.
No words describe this properly.

This is beyond good.  I already described my delight with all three flavors on Instagram.  Now I need to get my hands on more.  Like for real.  You can check out Heidi Ho for yourself. This isn’t like a kinda good cheese fake-out, it’s unbelievable!  This was perfect to have after going to Target with all five kids.  They have some great vegetarian frozen food there. Like A LOT!  I was pleasantly surprised.  I could spend $1,000,000 in Target.  No lie.  We bought one thing for my older daughter’s dorm room.  Yes, way to early…but she’s an epic planner and I’ve been a big girl and talking about the “c” word lately.  I’m gonna miss her a ton.

And HAVE FUN!
And HAVE FUN!

I remember being afraid of Selfies.  Oh, what will THEY think?  I cared more about fitting in than being myself.  Then I realized that people would come and go in my life, except for my family and a hand full of true friends.  I know who I am and find more pieces to discover every day.  I would rather be considered a push over than a bitch in the past and now it’s reversed.  I am not what many would consider a bitch, but being boss, in charge of your life and totally authentic with no apologies for setting boundaries can earn you that title in some people’s eyes.  Their opinion is theirs.  Declare what you want and those that love you…will still love you.  Here was my recent declaration on Facebook:

This year I will not add any energy to any relationships that do not nurture me. Exception to the rule is my relationship with my children which do not always feel good. They challenge me to grow and I always find more love past my judgment and theirs. Parenting is a spiritual boot camp at times. Five completely different strong-willed beings with their own intention and I’m raising them in a world conditioned to be normal.

My friendship circle is tightening up and my time for acquaintances with chit-chat will be limited. If you can accept all of me, I will love you fully, if not I’ll love you on a soul level and choose other beings to play with. If you ask me my opinion this year, prepare yourself for full me. I’m intense and I don’t play small anymore. You don’t have to believe in your dreams anymore, but I’ll be creating more until the day I die. Crystal clear on my wants. If you don’t like how I roll, keep on moving along, I bless you. If you don’t agree with me, you are not wrong, you are you and I’m me. I’ll remain open to newness but no focus on bullshit.

I will not counsel through messaging, if you would like exclusive intuitive coaching, email me for my limited availability. I’ll see if we are a fit. This snobbery of my vibration serves me, my family, and the world. I am keeping my vibe high and pure, blasting Light and sparks of Divine blooming even more.

My book will have lots of inspiration for $8.88 and Kindle will include pictures and a slightly lower price. I’ll have gems on my website for free and I’ll always have free wisdom, but it’s time to take my vision to the next level. I’ll be cheering you on in my heart forevermore.

P. S. Never assume anything with me. This isn’t about anything but fire words coming through and picking up on this in the world. No incident or person came to mind, I just knew it needed to be declared for myself.

P. P. S. Fun blog coming to my website today. I want to help you get your energy high going into EPIC 2015!

When you love yourself, you set yourself free.   What’s your declaration?  And tag me in your next Selfie so I can cheer you on!   Namaste, Blessings, & all the yummy delicious to you!

P.S. I talk about  Selfies in my book. Countdown is six days from launch!

m☮msz, let go.0f thi$ craP & youll B happier

beingwrong

 

I purposefully did this with all the grammar mistakes because this leads into the first one on the list. I remember someone calling me out on my first typos online and I felt so embarrassed…like the dream where you show up naked to school.  I know I’m sure I will give the grammar police a slight twitch when they read this, but perfect writing is overrated.  I like heart.  Yes, decent grammar is a must, but as an author, I drove myself nuts at times trying to figure out the rules and realizing there is always an exception to the rule.  I think of myself as an exception to the rule and know, whenever I generalize as I tell my truth, there will be an exception to the rule.  I pissed off a few people on Twitter a few days ago with my blog on the Huffington Post titled Sex, Violence, & Weight.  I don’t like the porn industry.  I stand by that.  I love naked art though.  Totally different vibe to me.  I am sure there are kind people who are happy in porn and mean people who are unhappy in nude paintings.  But I like having an opinion on some things.  It’s part of my fierce.  Feel free to weigh in on the comments.  I like to open my mind and heart more daily while staying true to me. These are a few things I let go of and became much happier.  Start your own list.  I bet you’ve let go of some stuff too.

 

1. Mrs. Faketastic: That being perfect, polished in every way (even writing), or always looking cool act. Feeling like I ever have to put on a show in life or be fake is no bueno. I used to pretend a lot. I don’t like BS anymore. I love authenticity. I know I will look foolish, stupid, crazy, or like an idiot to someone at some point. In my twenties, I wanted to be liked and fit in. Then I realized my spirit would die inside if that was my motivation  in life. Not my spirit, like in my soul, but as in my inner fire. Truth is, I drank a lot at times because I NEVER felt comfortable or like I belonged. It’s like alien syndrome. (That would make another blog for sure.)  I always felt like I was one stupid sentence (a strong opinion or heartfelt share) away from a friendship ending. This is where I became good at the chameleon. I was and still am good at being a chameleon, only nowadays the gig is up, cause peeps can read my stuff and I let my woo-woo-fire-goddess out on paper and the internet. They see me.  No hiding. I love taking selfies and I ain’t afraid to post ’em with some kickass words of mine.  It’s part of my life’s purpose to share my wisdom in teaching through many mediums.  Mrs. Faketastic would never get the beautiful messages I get from people who tell me I have helped them by sharing my journey through words. Being me has become the most freeing and fulfilling lifestyle.  Do I still get uncomfortable sometimes?  Yes, I am human.  It’s part of my process I think.  New friends always replaced the ones that my flavor was too much or not enough.   You will see some people fade out of your life and you will feel like an ass at times when you live your full truth, but Mrs. Faketastic always ends up miserable in her own story and the dorky free spirit next door in the 80’s movies always triumphs anyway.

 

2. Craft-o-matic-Mom of Pinterestland: You probably know her. She is often a shade of blond or at least has highlights, that pretty bitch!  Just kidding…totally. I actually have artsy-crafty-magical friends that range from very blonde to a few very dark raven-haired beauties.  They are sweethearts who don’t do it for show, it’s who they are. I love seeing how they come up with their magic. I would have felt small next to them in my twenties. I wouldn’t have known where to put myself, like what value did I have, or bring to the friendship. This led to hot glue gun and rhinestone phases, salivating over beads as I made earrings, a homemade Barbie cake, and sewing various things. I am just not that person, but I love art and crafting. Just some peeps have gifts. I am not good at crocheting. I’m okay with this. I can cook like a mofo. I do things with love now, not a need to be anything. And I so had a Pinterest fail with cupcakes last Halloween, but I made an adorable preggo Leopard so I had fun and my kids thought the cupcakes with melted marshmallow fluff still looked cool. I was never doing anything 100% for the kids anyway back then, it was for the moms and to feel good about myself. There was 10% fun in the artsy fartsy endeavors, which is way too low. This kind of stuff activated the competition in my earlier time in MomWorld that I did not like. We can all win at being us.  Being a good mom (whatever that means and I have let go of that one too…okay, I haven’t but I’m trying) is about love and doesn’t have anything to do with other parenting styles.  Many of them all work fine and kids turn out semi-normal.

 

3. FOMO-ism: I suffered from this at birth until I swear just a few years ago. I just found out about this acronym and I LOVE it! Fear Of Missing Out. Story of ma life (said which Cali Valley girl accent) cause with being an avid 90210 girl in the 90’s I wanted to be that “it” girl who never missed out. Things revolved around her. She was never the tagalong. She was Queen Bee. Everyone loved her (well, they fear her too), but it seemed so awesome to never be left behind. She was validated, accepted, approved of, but she was actually the teenage version of Mrs. Faketastic. Whenever there was a party, event, opportunity, new acquaintance to a circle, or some cool thing, I wanted to be on it and a part of it. Why? Because I believed in a lack-full Universe that only has so much, versus an abundant one where there are many ships coming in. The Law of Attraction taught me that gem, to focus on what I want and how I wasted A LOT of energy on stupid stuff. I think of my twenties and early thirties as part of me still stuck in middle school.  It was even seeping into my parenting.  If my kid didn’t do that activity, he/she wouldn’t be cool or as far along as others.  When I couldn’t afford a program, I’d convince myself it that it wasn’t worth it either or I’d beat myself up.  Now with five kids, I don’t force activities on them anyway.  I don’t believe in passing along keeping up with the Joneses.  I learned every family has a different dynamic that works for them, with different priorities and judging them takes too much time and energy…but especially my life force-mojo-spirit and I’d rather focus on higher consciousness than whose doing what and how I classify it.

 

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