I purposefully did this with all the grammar mistakes because this leads into the first one on the list. I remember someone calling me out on my first typos online and I felt so embarrassed…like the dream where you show up naked to school. I know I’m sure I will give the grammar police a slight twitch when they read this, but perfect writing is overrated. I like heart. Yes, decent grammar is a must, but as an author, I drove myself nuts at times trying to figure out the rules and realizing there is always an exception to the rule. I think of myself as an exception to the rule and know, whenever I generalize as I tell my truth, there will be an exception to the rule. I pissed off a few people on Twitter a few days ago with my blog on the Huffington Post titled Sex, Violence, & Weight. I don’t like the porn industry. I stand by that. I love naked art though. Totally different vibe to me. I am sure there are kind people who are happy in porn and mean people who are unhappy in nude paintings. But I like having an opinion on some things. It’s part of my fierce. Feel free to weigh in on the comments. I like to open my mind and heart more daily while staying true to me. These are a few things I let go of and became much happier. Start your own list. I bet you’ve let go of some stuff too.
1. Mrs. Faketastic: That being perfect, polished in every way (even writing), or always looking cool act. Feeling like I ever have to put on a show in life or be fake is no bueno. I used to pretend a lot. I don’t like BS anymore. I love authenticity. I know I will look foolish, stupid, crazy, or like an idiot to someone at some point. In my twenties, I wanted to be liked and fit in. Then I realized my spirit would die inside if that was my motivation in life. Not my spirit, like in my soul, but as in my inner fire. Truth is, I drank a lot at times because I NEVER felt comfortable or like I belonged. It’s like alien syndrome. (That would make another blog for sure.) I always felt like I was one stupid sentence (a strong opinion or heartfelt share) away from a friendship ending. This is where I became good at the chameleon. I was and still am good at being a chameleon, only nowadays the gig is up, cause peeps can read my stuff and I let my woo-woo-fire-goddess out on paper and the internet. They see me. No hiding. I love taking selfies and I ain’t afraid to post ’em with some kickass words of mine. It’s part of my life’s purpose to share my wisdom in teaching through many mediums. Mrs. Faketastic would never get the beautiful messages I get from people who tell me I have helped them by sharing my journey through words. Being me has become the most freeing and fulfilling lifestyle. Do I still get uncomfortable sometimes? Yes, I am human. It’s part of my process I think. New friends always replaced the ones that my flavor was too much or not enough. You will see some people fade out of your life and you will feel like an ass at times when you live your full truth, but Mrs. Faketastic always ends up miserable in her own story and the dorky free spirit next door in the 80’s movies always triumphs anyway.
2. Craft-o-matic-Mom of Pinterestland: You probably know her. She is often a shade of blond or at least has highlights, that pretty bitch! Just kidding…totally. I actually have artsy-crafty-magical friends that range from very blonde to a few very dark raven-haired beauties. They are sweethearts who don’t do it for show, it’s who they are. I love seeing how they come up with their magic. I would have felt small next to them in my twenties. I wouldn’t have known where to put myself, like what value did I have, or bring to the friendship. This led to hot glue gun and rhinestone phases, salivating over beads as I made earrings, a homemade Barbie cake, and sewing various things. I am just not that person, but I love art and crafting. Just some peeps have gifts. I am not good at crocheting. I’m okay with this. I can cook like a mofo. I do things with love now, not a need to be anything. And I so had a Pinterest fail with cupcakes last Halloween, but I made an adorable preggo Leopard so I had fun and my kids thought the cupcakes with melted marshmallow fluff still looked cool. I was never doing anything 100% for the kids anyway back then, it was for the moms and to feel good about myself. There was 10% fun in the artsy fartsy endeavors, which is way too low. This kind of stuff activated the competition in my earlier time in MomWorld that I did not like. We can all win at being us. Being a good mom (whatever that means and I have let go of that one too…okay, I haven’t but I’m trying) is about love and doesn’t have anything to do with other parenting styles. Many of them all work fine and kids turn out semi-normal.
3. FOMO-ism: I suffered from this at birth until I swear just a few years ago. I just found out about this acronym and I LOVE it! Fear Of Missing Out. Story of ma life (said which Cali Valley girl accent) cause with being an avid 90210 girl in the 90’s I wanted to be that “it” girl who never missed out. Things revolved around her. She was never the tagalong. She was Queen Bee. Everyone loved her (well, they fear her too), but it seemed so awesome to never be left behind. She was validated, accepted, approved of, but she was actually the teenage version of Mrs. Faketastic. Whenever there was a party, event, opportunity, new acquaintance to a circle, or some cool thing, I wanted to be on it and a part of it. Why? Because I believed in a lack-full Universe that only has so much, versus an abundant one where there are many ships coming in. The Law of Attraction taught me that gem, to focus on what I want and how I wasted A LOT of energy on stupid stuff. I think of my twenties and early thirties as part of me still stuck in middle school. It was even seeping into my parenting. If my kid didn’t do that activity, he/she wouldn’t be cool or as far along as others. When I couldn’t afford a program, I’d convince myself it that it wasn’t worth it either or I’d beat myself up. Now with five kids, I don’t force activities on them anyway. I don’t believe in passing along keeping up with the Joneses. I learned every family has a different dynamic that works for them, with different priorities and judging them takes too much time and energy…but especially my life force-mojo-spirit and I’d rather focus on higher consciousness than whose doing what and how I classify it.