::REAL HONESTY::

Ladies, please listen.

There are two points I want to make.

It is okay for you to be focused on trying to be day by day, moment by moment, trying to be the best mom, doing minimal self-care, and not focused on your partner and feel like sex is just one more thing you have to do….

I have been there.

Please don’t stay there too long though.

Hear me. No judgement here, just sharing what helped me come alive.

Shut the fuck up about your belly pouch. Seriously, I don’t want to hear about it anymore. We all, except some fitness or lucky ones, or ones who have had work done.

YOU ARE STILL SEXY! You are beautiful.

I know what it’s like to stress about money, home work balance, anxiety about the world, feeling like the kids suck your dry, being angry all the time, feeling alone, and yes the hating of the body.

Obligatory sex once a week. I did that a time in my twenties.

I was not putting energy into my marriage and neither was he.

We loved each other always, but I was checked out and so was he. TV was entertainment, not each other.

Dates felt awkward.

I’d bitch about the kids. He’d bitch about work.

I felt closer to girlfriends than him.

But I will tell you I went on an inner quest, a wild ass journey to get to know myself and learn to like her, to be happy without outer things changing, and to feel alive.

Just going through the motions was not going to work anymore. I felt like I was dying the housewife slow death. I worked sporadically but it wasn’t anything that fulfilled me.

I was guided to write a novel.

Then another. (First one is next to be published though.)

I found a PASSION. I decided to talk nicely to myself. I choose to work on our relationship. I believe marriage needs to be emotionally renewed yearly or more…maybe just once is your turning point.

I looked at sex differently. It became transcendent. Cosmic love in our hearts and bodies. Sex is an act. Many different ways and flavors. .Sensual way of being with each other many call foreplay. Your life can be foreplay.

I’m telling you all of this so you know you can change it.

If you lose the connection long enough, it can create something where one side i done and/or has moved on with someone else secretly.

Don’t look to your partner to change. Complaining about them on a constant is not a motivator. Focus on what you like about them.

There is so much juice in focus, choice, accepting your partner fully, honoring them, and making them feel like you cherish them.

Create romance. Seduce yourself. Talk to yourself like you know you are a Goddess. Self-love yourself with baths, yoga class, a new purse, whatever self-care you need to feel like a woman and not just a role like mom, wife, lawyer, whatever.

Make the dinner reservation and book the babysitter. i dare you to make it an overnighter.

Buy the lingerie, candles, toys, whatever lights you up.

Do this for YOU. Do this for you BOTH.

A happy marriage/relationship is a great foundation for your children. They are going to grow up and move out. Don’t wait to pay attention to your partner then.

Treat each other life boyfriend or girlfriend again.

This is possible for you. Whenever you are ready.

It is worth it to be madly in love again

And to love myself deep down into my cells….flaws and all.

xx, Jenny

(P.S. My kids are 20, 16, 10, 7, & 3 and my husband and I have been together for 21 years, married for 20)

 

P.P.S.   Let’s work on this.  Take the leap.  Email me at; Jenny@jennygperry.com and we can chat to see if we’d be a good match to work together 1:1 or one of my programs.  .

 

Dress For A New Vibe~Self-Love Style

Every day, I choose how I want to feel. I create a look, I set a vibe.  I dress for me.  Some may stare and wonder why I’m overdressed or where I’m going…what my job is.  Well, I’m a Transformation Coach, Self-Love Goddess, and Mojo Maven.

ponchoboots

I dress the part as I’m a Multidimensional Transformation Life Coach who gives women permission to fully love and embrace all aspects of their Goddess-SELF.  I dress and treat myself like I’m a Goddess!  I believe every woman is.  If I had my way, I’d wave my magic wand and instantly all women would love themselves and see their beauty and brilliance.  I model this as best I can daily.  I preach and teach it as i walk my talk.  I am the mom of five and technically could live in yoga pants..or lately LulaRoe leggings!  i actually have two different colored ones with diamonds on them cause I love bling.  They are so soft…like butter.  And my booty looks good in them.  For the bootylicious leggings, hop into these groups by three of my friends.

Jill Walsh’s group here:

Jessica Bechtold here:

Kathleen A. Brown here:

 

I actually have soooooooooooooooo much fun with makeup, sunglasses, jewelry, and clothes.  I love different fabrics and how colors make me feel.  I’ll even put a song on to get ready and raise ,my vibe.  When I was a kid I loved going to church because I got to dress fancy.  Look at me lookin’ all cray cray!

I used to have so much fun dressing up as a kid.  As an adult, I felt I had to conform in order to fit in.  Up until age 34 did I really start becoming my own Goddess.  For five years I have been transforming and becoming me fully.  I share my truth through my words and pictures to inspire, uplift, and empower other women who are where I was.  Lifting up others, cheering them on,and coaching people brings me immense joy!  I believe in living your purpose and passion in the most fun way possible.  Do you still play like a kid or have you stopped having fun!  I dare you to buy fun leggings with a crazy print from LulaRoe ladies I listed above.  I CANNOT wait for their Christmas ones to come out!  I love a theme!  Also, join my Facebook group about Self-Love where I’m doing an “I DARE YOU” challenge every day this week around style and self-love.

Join here: 

Also, did you ever want to chat with me?  YOU CAN!  How fun will that be?  if you want to check out this FREE offer I have. It will expire in 7 days,  so just hop onto my Facebook page and get on my calendar….here:

 

Love you all!!!!!!
xx,
Jenny G.  Perry

Sexpot With Stretch Marks

Sexpot Book Cover one

Hello cuties! Going with a thankful Thursday vibe here even though my two youngest sons are driving each other bonkers at the end of summer here. (I have five kiddos from 2 1/2 to 19.) I wanted to spread some positivity to all you mommies. If you lost your mojo, need a pick-me-up today or just like to read uplifting stuff, click below for a copy of my ebook, Sexpot With Stretch Marks~Fierce Musings Along the Journey to Self-Love with Sass.” Have a fabulous day!

http://jennygperry.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Book-PDF.pdf

Love, Jenny
xx

What are you working on?

Tell me. For me, I’m always learning and challenging myself.

Check out my video:

When resistance comes up, you don’t have to stop. I wholeheartedly believe in the motto: “Trust the process.” Tell me, declare it, what are you really willing to admit that is challenging you? Not what’s keeping you down. That would be a victim. A powerful force of nature knows the winds eventually calm and that for a seed to let the bloom burst forth, it’s not subtle. It’s intense. Stillness is a beautiful thing, but not a permanent state of being. Yes, stay centered within. Life will churn up stuff, whether you are like me or not, challenging yourself to be more. Releasing what isn’t you reveals what is. What limiting beliefs have fooled you into thinking you were something or you were not? What limiting beliefs do you have? What beliefs serve you?

I’m not Martha Stewart

Before Pinterest social media showing off, I had two kids. I sewed some clothes, baked some cakes, glitterized Christmas balls, made some jewelry, and a general crafting phase would come and go. I only had Martha to go by. I knew I’d never be her. I was happy with my little projects.

Enter the new world of “those” moms. I admire those moms. I am friends with those moms. I love those moms.  I stay in my lane. They stay in theirs. I venture to that side and I’ll cook some amazing soup, but then I get ambitious. I get cocky. I try to dye Easter eggs using natural methods like foods. I see some pins on Pinterest. I rebel. I wing it.  I am not one of those moms.

I tried.  I prepped the night before.  Spinach for green, beet for pink, red cabbage for purple, turmeric for yellow, and paprika for orange. We waited.
I tried. I prepped the night before. Spinach for green, beet for pink, red cabbage for purple, turmeric for yellow, and paprika for orange. We waited.

Nothing.

My oldest son Aidan busted out the food coloring when his few didn't turn color.  Just a white egg.
My oldest son Aidan busted out the food coloring when his few didn’t turn color. Just a white egg.

Of course they got carried away.

Hulk egg is what he was going for.
Hulk egg is what he was going for.

Meanwhile, I’m brainstorming. Add some vinegar. I only have Apple Cider Dr. Braggs. Hey, I’ll give it a whirl.

More playing.  At least they had fun.
More playing. At least they had fun. My middle son Finnegan’s Hulk egg masterpiece.

Now, I’m thinking…what dyes things? Tomato sauce dyes my Tupperware and white sink, plus the kids clothes when they eat spaghetti and I don’t catch the stain in time.

Food coloring made some cool eggs.
Food coloring made some cool eggs. My youngest son Seamus created this design.

As I dunk the eggs that are resistant to my natural methods into the tomato sauce I’m thinking Pizzeria eggs and totally cracking myself up. Wouldn’t it be cool if it worked?

My middle son just says forget it after his Hulk egg and eats a few.  Look at how cool the inside is.  It's art.
Finnegan just says forget it after his Hulk egg and eats a few. Look at how cool the inside is. It’s art.

I’m now telling them (like I’m on like a TED talk) about what Mommy is teaching them here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not nice all the time. I can be mean, stern mom often with five kids with three of them being “spirited” boys. But let me have my TED/good mom moment here. I say, “You know what I’m teaching you guys here? Determination. I didn’t lose sixty pounds, write two books, and become a successful life coach by giving up. You try something. It doesn’t work. You try something else. That doesn’t work. You try something else. That doesn’t work…you what?

The youngest two boys are still in the room and they echo, “You try something else.” I smile.  Patting myself on the back, I leave the eggs to stew in my concoctions and make my Butternut squash soup. I Facebook. I referee with the boys fighting. I give someone a pep talk.  I play with the baby. Isn’t she adorable?

eggs11
She’s so very. My Dylaney Maeve.

 

The final outcome. In the words of Finn as I explain that I’m sharing this story in a blog. “Did you say…EPIC FAIL? Nice try though.”

I say, “No, it wasn’t a failure. Two eggs turned out okay.”

Blue one was from boiled red cabbage with a little vinegar added after a while and the yellow one is from turmeric with vinegar as well.
Blue one was from boiled red cabbage with a little vinegar added after a while and the yellow one is from turmeric with vinegar as well.

Funny thing is in my twenties, as a stay-at-home mom, I would watch Martha Stewart’s show and drool.  I would have felt like a failure with this egg incident. I wouldn’t have told anyone it didn’t turn out because I would have been embarrassed. I would have been mad at myself and gotten crabby. I would have felt stupid. Thank God, I don’t focus on my shortcomings anymore. Self-love transformed me.  Back then, I felt in competition with other moms and other women in general.  At 37, I celebrate the great things about those moms and all women, knowing their strengths do not take away from me.  We all get to be beautiful, smart, and a wonderful in our own unique ways.

For my wins…first of all, I take a mean selfie.

New Victoria's Secret off the shoulder sweatshirt and MAC lipstick, color named Ruby Woo.  Love the name.  I captioned a selfie on Instagram..."Red lipstick solves evverything."  It sure makes me feel good!
New Victoria’s Secret off the shoulder sweatshirt and MAC lipstick, color named Ruby Woo. Love the name. I captioned a selfie on Instagram…”Red lipstick solves everything.” It sure makes me feel good!

Okay, not a full win in parenting department, but my two older boys have been cleaning their room…slowly…like turtle speed, but it’s progress. Last night Aidan was supposed to go home and clean, but he literally passed out on my parents’ couch after dinner.

Allergies?  A cold?  He really wasn't feeling great, but he was at a sleepover the night before.  Quite suspicious!  Today...quite better.
Allergies? A cold? He really wasn’t feeling great, but he was at a sleepover the night before. Quite suspicious! Today…quite better.

Totally not a win, but had to share super funny pic.  I think he has a future in stand up.

Seamus put on his baby sisters coat as we were getting coats on to leave my parents' house.  Dennis the Menace.  God made him cute for a reason.  Remember, he's spirited.
Seamus put on his baby sister’s coat as we were getting ready to leave my parents’ house. Dennis the Menace. God made him cute for a reason. Remember, he’s spirited.

Hope you had a good weekend.  Remember, life’s too short to be hard on yourself. Just let Martha be Martha and you be you. You’re a total rockstar in your own right. Btw…I’ll never stop trying to be crafty. I can’t help myself. Wish me lucky tomorrow as I purchase stuff for the preschool Easter party on Thursday. (Yes, I’m getting a pre-made kit and I’m not ashamed of it.

P.S. My oldest daughter could become the next Martha Stewart, only in her own crafty awesomeness. Watch out, Pinterest, McKayla will be one to watch for.

How old are you in fashion years?

Do you dress your age?

What is your fashion age?

This is not a judgement about how you dress, just a myth-busting blog here. The idea of dressing your age is asinine. Magazines have shown us for years what to wear in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and beyond. I don’t dress my age because I don’t believe in that. An age does not come with a package of clothing appropriate for that decade or number. Yes, babies should not wear high heels, but children are not part of the point here.

How old are you in fashion years?  Where do you shop?  Where do you want to shop?  What do you want to get away with, but feel like you can’t pull it off?  Answer:  Just decide it.  Love yourself.  And own it, work it, live it.  You can change your style whenever you want…and your life to. Let’s first start with the clothes though.

I love Forever 21. I’m almost 38. I would never want to be 21 again. I don’t pretend I’m in my 20’s. What would that even mean? I know some people judge women when they dress sexy or too “young” as wrong or trying too hard. What if they are just trying to be themselves. I dress for me. It’s fun. I’ve been experimenting with style since I was a kid, minus a few years in my early twenties where I was pretending to look the part of a mom.

I lost myself in the idea of what a mom “should” look, do, and act like. That repressed life force, that hiding of my wildness and untapped creativity made me angry. Rage is something I know well and I’ve embraced my own shadow side which has been angry and acted a fool in many ways. I still love her…as in the dark side of me.  I am more Light, of course, but I own my shadow as well.  Maybe there are some people just full of Light, that lack the depths I’ve explored in the human experience. I’ve been clinically depressed, suffered terrible anxiety, and felt lonely in a crowd, wearing it like an old coat. I taught myself how to love myself enough to become me…and wear fishnets, short jean skirt, and gold high heels on a Wednesday in New Jersey, ownin’ it like I’m a hipster 25 year old in NYC.  Fashion is one of my vibe raisers. It makes me who I am. But I don’t base my opinion of others on what they wear. I realize there are clothes people and car people and cat people…and people that prioritize things different than me. I’m hot for fashion.  I’m thinking my fashion age is 25.  What’s yours?  Have you figured it out yet?  If you don’t like fashion, don’t sweat it.  Just be you and live for yourself first, sweet peach.

25 year old me dressing fashion age 38...at least.
25 year old me dressing fashion age 38…at least.

What a difference a decade and self-love make?
The 30’s me embraced my writing, found myself, and created my reinvention.

38 year old me dressing fashion age 25.
37 year old me dressing fashion age 25.

As I was driving home from getting my hair done, all lookin’ cute and fierce, Prince was playing on the radio, taking me back to my 80’s childhood. Then what came on next was Alanis Morrisette. I thought about driving around playing that tape after I graduated high school and had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I thought of how I love life so much more than my 18 year old self could imagine. 18 year old me would never have believed we would be pregnant and married the next year. Best things to ever happen to me though.  My hubby and oldest daughter have taught me so much.  The rainbow after the storm of my teens.  I should have saved the clothes though. They’re all coming back now.  90’s clothes and 70’s clothes, which is funny because 70’s clothes were cool in the 90’s too as I rocked some bell bottoms and tye-dyes.  I see my life through pictures and what I was wearing at what age.  I love being trendy, but also, just deciding on a look and going for it. Stay tuned to all the florals I have coming up in my vacation fashion next month. And sunglasses. I’m obsessed with them.  I did get some clothes my oldest daughter deemed “my age.”  I laughed.  Of course, I’ll trend them up with some sunnies and headbands.  Growing out the bangs is a pain.  Headbands help.  I got a silver one that reminds me of Alexis from Dynasty.  I still love the clothes and glam from that era.

So back to my outfit from today and my fashion age.  I realized I had to go to one of my kids’ schools and looked at my outfit.  My 25 year old outfit on a 37 year old.

“What is she wearing?”
“Did you see what she’s wearing?”
“A mother shouldn’t dress like that?”
“Where does she think we live?”

The old me, which ruled the roost until age 33, would have thought that people were thinking and saying these things and go into shame for wearing what I wanted.  I know people could still do that, but what my inner voice I said when I looked at my fishnets…”Oh well.”  I don’t care if people like how I dress.  If they judge me, that’s their judgement.  I played small for many years, afraid to be this chick I am now…loud and proud…wild and free…and owning it.  I love to help empower, inspire, and uplift others, even if only through what I post online.  There is lots of good stuff in my book, “Sexpot With Stretch Marks” if you want to read more from me.  If you want to find, discover, or reclaim your mojo like I did, contact me.  I work on lots of stuff with people, all of which go through a mind-body-spirit change.  I transform lives through my coaching.   It’s beautiful to be a part of.

Lesson here:
In your 20’s: Wear what you want, have fun, and love yourself.
In your 30’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself fully…forgive the 20’s you.
In your 40’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself completely…no for real this time.
In your 50’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself unabashedly and live like it’s no longer dress rehearsal.
In your 60’s: Wear what you want, have fun, love yourself to the depth of core and do whatever the hell you want.
In your 70’s: Wear what you want, have fun, and love yourself…you don’t need anyone else’s advice.  You got this.

Instead of dressing your age, dress for your vibe.  It’s so freeing.  If you only live in sweatpants because you love comfort, rock those sweats with pride.  They do sell them with sequins on.  Just sayin’.  I own them.   Smooches!